What if Yuuki Rito wasn't a total klutz?
by Meself
Summary: Chapter 2 finished. Ummm... Eyjafjallajokul? As with most fiction stories, this one explores a what if. What if Rito learned to succeed more often, in spite of himself? What inner strength is required to conquer his inner spaz? Most likely the story will develop a mind of its own disregarding of any questions I ask. The beginning sure had enough awkwardness, anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**A Good Day (Part 1)**

Yuuki Rito walked to school with his fingers twiddling behind his back. They were twiddling because he would see her soon and because if he didn't twiddle he'd instead run down street yelling, "I'm a big chicken! Cook me!" His friends would never let him live that down, and in addition would bring up every dumb act he had ever done to top up their lovingly prepared humble pie dish, which they would just as lovingly force-feed down his throat. More importantly, the young woman constantly in his thoughts might think he hadn't matured at all. _ -I am cool. I am confident. I am calm-_, he told himself. In the meanwhile his fingers continued their furious struggle for dominance with no clear winner in sight.

He heard her before he saw her. "Ri...Ri...Risa-chan! We're just friends, we would never do that!", Sairenji Haruna exclaimed to one of her friends. They were about to turn the corner and run into Yuuki. -_I will not jump in the bushes_- he firmly commanded himself, pinching his thumb, -_I will not jump in the bushes, they have thorns_- an unpleasant memory, that. In the meanwhile Momioka Risa continued to tease her friend mercilessly, "Ahh, but he's been following you around like a little lost dog. Don't you normally take cute widdle doggies in?" "Oh stop it already. You're the one who dragooned him into helping our club in the first place. Naturally he wouldn't follow you around."

As they turned the corner he saw them. "Speak of the devil! The doggy has come to give you your morning kiss." The tall, light-haired tease pushed Haruna forward. Her pale face surrounded by jet black hair glowed in Rito's mind eye, and now it was turning red as she caught sight of him. Red was a lovely color, too. "Yuu...Yuuki-kun! I was just...she was just...that is Risa was..." "Being her usual self?" he answered with a faint smile. "Yes" she answered, calming down and revealing the gentle expression he loved the most, "I shouldn't let her get to me." Sairenji had always handled teasing by giving the tease the desired reaction, so that he(or this time she) would move on.

Yuuki Rito had his own ways of dealing with Momioka Risa. "Oy Risa-chan, which is it? Am I a devil or am I a dog? Or is it a devil dog?" He had often had fun watching her brow crease in puzzlement as she did now. "Huh?" She answered, for she rarely remembered a word once it left her mouth. Sawada Mio, short with hair kept in opposing tails, laughed: "Give it up, Rito-kun. Risa will never get your jokes" and earned herself a glare from the aforementioned party, who answered "Of course I wouldn't get his random comments. It's creepy!" "That's just it. It's not random, because he's picking at your own words!" "Huh? What did I say?" "Exactly! That's why it's so funny!" "Exactly?! I'll give you exactly you ticklish little imp!" "Eek! Stop!"

Yuuki took Sairenji's hand and walked away from the two giant kindergarteners. "Rito-san?" she asked. He answered, "If they have an audience, we'll be there 'til the bell rings. They'll follow soon, I think." "That is so." -_I'm in heaven. My hand didn't freeze to my side, and she didn't pull away. Now this would be just perfect if only my other hand would stop making like a panicked eel_- If Haruna saw the panicked eel act, she was too nice to say.  
"Oy, Rito! You're supposed to tell her properly before you start holding hands" At this latest jibe she finally remembered to pull her hand away. -_Ahhh. 'Twas nice while it lasted though-._

He finally remembered why he had met up with her in the first place: "Oh. Speaking of which, there was something I was planning on telling you. Or to be precise, asking you." Sairenji immediately looked down and mumbled, "I'm sure you'll find someone better soon." All these years Yuuki thought himself a coward for not being able to confess. He recently realized this had been a blessing in disguise. "Focus." he told her. "Oh, sorry, what were you going to ask?" "A clinic I work at needs more volunteers."

"Ummm..." she uncertainly responded. _-talk fast now_- "Ohit'snothardyoujusthaftamakepatientswelcomeandta ke theirformswhenthey' ' 'dsetthemat easeinnotime...oopssorry." -_smooth work motormouth_- Rito paused to catch his breath. Fortunately his effort worked anyway. Laughing she answered, "I don't know about doing a better job...I certainly can't beat your enthusiasm." "Don't... try..." he panted, "mixed...results..." Thankfully, they soon stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change.

Sairenji watched the cars by. "I have to walk Maron, and my sister always has chores for me." -_don't talk fast no_w- "It won't be far... It's at the school... run by Mikado-sensei... won't give you many hours." "Is a regular clinic allowed on school grounds?" she interrupted, surprised. Rito shrugged and answered, "She asked the principal. He said yes." "Oh", she said curtly. "Given how his usual antics are ignored the clinic isn't likely to attract attention." "That is so" _-time we get back on topic_- "Anyway, I usually let our two dogs run free on the grounds. Samurai keeps Stinker in line, and your Maron won't be a problem. There's even a shed with food and water, if they need it..."

She turned to look at him in astonishment, "That's amazing! As expected of Yuuki-kun." His mind reeled. -_what's this, out of the blue?_- Words spilled out of his mouth, "What? Oh, nononono. It'sjustthatstinkertearsupthehouseor gardenwhenwe'reawaysoIhadtothinkofsomething. Samurai'shappiernowanyway. Yikesdiditagain." "Do I sign a form?" Haruna asked. -_be still, my beating tongue_- Rito reprimanded himself and said aloud: "Erm, no, that's not necessary. We'll just stop by the clinic before class and work out a schedule. It won't hurt Momioka-san and Sawada-san to prepare the tennis court for once." This last was spoken loudly.

"No fair you two," Mio told them, "ditching work so you can get married." "Yeah" Risa chimed in, "You're supposed to elope and tell me all about it later... Aw nuts, we missed the light."

**Part 2**

As expected, Yuuki Rito was accosted upon entering the school by his friends: Monkey, Cheesehead, and Prissy(not what their mothers called them, but Yuuki wasn't anyone's mother). "Oy, Chickenlegs!" they shouted at him, "Whatcha doing here so early? As fast as you are, you can afford to sleep in!" "That's my line!" Rito replied in kind, "You'd sleep in even when you can't afford to!" Without turning his head he whispered to Sairenji: "Go on ahead. I already told Mikado-Sensei you might be coming." She quickly replied, "Later" and hastily made a beeline toward the shoe-rack, keeping a generous distance between herself and the incoming guys. Risa and Mio stayed around to watch. They knew what would soon happen.

The gang immediately settled into a 4-way brawl in which the goal was to butt-slap each other the most times(though none of them actually kept score). A girl passing by whispered(quite loudly) to her friend, "Those guys...are they...you know...?" to which the friend tersely replied, "No, they're just ordinary dumb boys. Walk on."

"Oy guys!" Risa interrupted them with wickedness in her eyes, "Can anyone join in, or are you sexist?" "We're not sexist!" Monkey protested with a dignified voice, puffing his chest, "This is just between us men!" _-Did Saruyama commit that irony on purpose?_- Yuuki privately wondered. Cheesehead topped Monkey by adding: "Yeah, what he said. And you'd just be a girl and lie and get us sent to the Principal's office." Everyone in the room stared at him in utter astonishment except for a certain impious girl who was on the floor in a fit of helpless laughter.

"Kenji-kun..." Yuuki slowly corrected his friend, "Did you forget that we are in the high school now? We don't have Fujimura-san anymore." "Ah, sorry." the big guy answered, turning red, "They keep telling me at the office that they're the various members of the Disciplinary Squad, and that they don't keep changing the principals every week." "Though perhaps they should...change principals, I mean" Yokohama(Prissy to his friends, given his obsession with his hair) interjected. He was too cool to speak often, so he was often ignored... as he was now. "Dude" Monkey said to Cheesehead. "It's only been a month since school started. What have you been doing?" -_Never underestimate a face's ability to change colors_- Yuuki thought, as his friend's face turned from red to purple. "It's not my fault!" The big guy protested, "Girl's keep asking me to lift stuff for them, and I keep entering their club rooms when...when it's awkward" he finished awkwardly. Realizing he was only shoving his foot deeper into his mouth, Cheesehead brought up his hands and forced the aforesaid mouth shut. Mio redoubled her attempts to pass out from laughter.

Chickenlegs decided that now would be a good time to rescue his friend. "Speaking of the Disciplinary Committee and failed principals, I'd better check on ours real quick." This produced the reflexive groan from Saruyama. "Not again. Why don't you leave it to them and kick the ball with us? That way we can all do the things we each enjoy." Yuuki answered his friend, "The principal is a morning person, and most of those on the Squad are not." Monkey smiled and suggested, "Why don't you join them, then? An insider would be a great help whenever we're in a jam." "You've just answered your own question. They wouldn't accept someone who associates with suspicious people like you." "We're not suspicious. We are de-i-licious." came the reflexive joke. "Besides..." Yuuki continued, pausing to make sure he wasn't overheard(everyone was watching Momioka, who was busy slapping Sawada back into coherency), "...there's someone I want to protect." Monkey, Cheesehead, and Prissy all nodded in agreement at this. Girls, like ribbing one another, was sacred to men.

The latter met Yuuki's back as he walked away. "Remember to kiss the princess after you've slain the dragon, or your name's Chickenlips." "I think girls like flowers. Try flowers. With honeybees" "Hurry up and get rejected already. It only hurts a lot."

**Part 3**

Kotegawa Yui was both part of the disciplinary committee and a morning person, and since she also took her job seriously she was in a hallway busy chewing out a pear-shaped balding man(who did not look disheartened in the least), and a sullen second-year girl with short, curly hair who wasn't even looking at Kotegawa. "Not only is your uniform non-regulation," she reprimanded the her, "but the shirt is too tight and the skirt is too short. We have had quite enough trouble with indecent behavior from the boys, and we girls shouldn't encourage them even in the slightest!" "Don't blame me!" the girl protested, "Our class rep insisted that we dress up like this in protest of something. Our entire class and several others are like this." "Tenjouin-san does not own the school" the kouhai retorted. "She could easily if she wanted to" the sempai retorted back. "That has nothing to do with anything" Kotegawa shook her head, causing her long mane of black hair to temporarily defy gravity, "I will speak to her royal highness later." She now turned her flaming eyes toward the middle-aged man, "Principal-sama, how could you allow such a violation of school rules to take place on your watch?!"

His pleasant smile never changed, "My dear student, your dedication to this school is admirable, and I wish more students had your fire, but might we continue this discussion in my office? We would be less...disruptive there." "Very. Well. Let's. Go." Kotegawa's voice said pleasantly. Her face, however, said something different: -_When we get there I'm going to set your ears on fire_- Her feet immediately set course.

The principal took the opportunity to murmur to the second-year, "Wait 'til I distract her, then go ahead and go to your class." The girl nodded in response, immediately relieved, not minding in the least if the others took each other out. He moved quickly(for his frame) and strode ahead of the DC officer. "This way my dear, it's a slight shortcut." Kotegawa nodded, her expression softening." -_Maybe I won't have to scold them so much after all_- They quickly turned a corner up some stairs. "My office being on the top floor helps keep me in shape." The older man joked amiably, "That and the fact that I do make my rounds across the entire school. When I first came here I thought to make a difference, too, but experience has taught me that less is more when it comes to leading; so now I just walk around and enjoying the sight of my student's growth, offering the occasional guidance. If my girls were dressing like that to attract boyfriends, then I might need to intervene. But for a protest for one day? I would just become the villain if I tried to stop it."

There was no compromise in the officer's response, "Boys become unruly at the slightest excuse, and there are many ways to protest without being shameless. Asking them to make their voice heard another way is perfectly reasonable." The principal maintained his pleasant tone, "If they were asked, then yes, they would; but no girl I've met likes being told her clothing is indecent, even when she's wearing a thong. If you're not careful you'll turn a day-long event into a month long protest. Just take it easy this one time and see if I'm wrong. It'll all blow over." -_It seems like they need a thorough scolding after all_- "Youth need the devil constantly beaten out of them," She retorted, "if they are to become proper members of society." For the first time the Principal's amiable expression slipped, becoming sad. "Treat anyone like a criminal long enough, and he'll become a criminal. My former wife taught me that."

Yui had no idea how to respond to this, and remained silent. Then the older man's smile touched his face again, "Oh don't think too much about it. We've all had our ups and downs. I think it helps my students to know that I'm human, too." They went up the rest of the steps swiftly in silence, and by the time they reached the top, Yui was breathing hard. "Good thing my office is so close to the stairs." The Principal noted, and deftly unlocked the door gesturing with his other hand, "Come in and take a seat. Take a minute to catch your breath. Care for some tea?" She shook her head in response, but immediately sat down, only to become startled when she heard the click of the door being locked behind her.

This turned to alarm as Kotegawa noticed for the first time that the other girl was gone. "Where is the other student?" she demanded. He sat down leisurely in his recliner before answering,"Oh, I told her to go on to class. She already knows our opinions on the matter, so there was no point in making her miss her lesson. I expect this meeting will drag on for a bit." The first-year swiftly rose only to find that the door was locked. "Oh sorry, but that door is old fashioned and can only be opened and shut with my key." He patted his pocket. "I firmly believe that private discussions with my students should remain private. Gossip can be quite troublesome, after all." "Open. The. Door." Kotegawa firmly commanded. "But my dear student, we just arrived. Weren't you keen on discussing the protest?" "I'm not your 'dear', and I'll report to the committee first. We can discuss the matter then."

"Really?", the unconcerned Principal leaned back in his chair and set his feet on his desk, "Even so, you may as well sit down. I'm not a reckless young man anymore, and after those stairs a few moments of rest does wonders." She remained standing, and the flames were back in her eyes. "My, my, how scary. How am I to relax with you standing over me with a glower on your face? Come, come; sit down and lighten up a little." He beckoned with his hand, smiling all the while. Yui's face flushed to match the flame in her eyes. She picked up a gaudy paperweight off the desk and started brandishing it. "You...you...pig! This is harassment! I'll report you to the authorities! Release me at once!"

The principal's smile grew just a bit wider, and turned his laptop around so that Kotegawa could see herself. She recoiled at her own angry visage. He continued, "I make it a point now not to be alone with a student, especially a female one, without a camera as a witness." He clicked something, and Yui saw a replay of herself threatening a very harmless-looking older man with a heavy blunt object, and wondered if she had somehow swallowed the object, given the weight she now felt in her gut. The weight increased with his next words: "I know why you weren't accepted into your school of choice. I believe the students also know what happened in your previous school. They have their own ways of fact-finding, and you've really been in the spotlight lately due to your...energy. Now please sit down. Your dedication is admirable, but we really need to discuss how to use that energy more wisely."

"I...I haven't done anything wrong!" Yui protested, not meeting his gaze. "That doesn't matter, as far as public opinion is concerned" the principal answered. He dropped his smile long enough to sigh. "I was once a firebrand myself, wanting to make a difference, respected by the community and my students. One scandal later, and it vanished like smoke." She continued to protest: "That was your doing! I... never..." "You're naive" he calmly interrupted. "You can look it up yourself. The news eventually admitted I was innocent, after they had already profited from it. If even adults love to gossip, true or not, do you think that girl you scolded just now will restrain herself from telling everyone that you're alone with me in my office right now?" "But...but...ridiculous!" "Of course it's ridiculous, that's why it's fun...if you're not the victim. We will be talked about even though everyone knows it's ridiculous. Of course, if I came out with a bump on my head and you with your clothes in disarray, perhaps even torn, then that will make the gossip all the more delicious for them." Kotegawa's insides went cold. "You wouldn't dare." She fixed his eyes in her stare. "Naturally I wouldn't", the principal easily said, "but if you had started attacking me with that admittedly silly looking desk ornament, and I tried to defend myself, who knows what would've happened." "That's ridiculous." "So you say, but you still haven't returned the object to my desk."

She stared at him suspiciously for a moment, but he was still sitting there, relaxed, so she placed the paperweight back down. The Principal continued, "well, I suppose that's all I wanted to talk with you about. You have a bit of a temper, but you can control it. I will ask you to be more mindful of how others might see your actions. I'm sure you'd be an exemplary officer if you did." He lowered his feet onto the floor and stood. Yui immediately snatched up the weight again. The principal continued his disarming smile, "The door is behind you, if you want me to unlock it. Of course, you are more than welcome to stay and talk." "As if" she replied as she moved aside, watching him like a hawk as he moved forward and fumbled with the key ring, "How careless of me, I have the order all wrong now. This one's to the broom closet...Would you mind putting that down and stop frowning like that? It's a bit distracting." Kotegawa's frown deepened.

The principal lowered the key-chain along with his gaze, and stopped smiling, "Stop that, please. You remind me of my wife...before she left." "Eh?" she stopped frowning and widened her eyes in surprise. He continued "The more she scolded me, the more I knew she wanted my attention." She tried to back out through the wall, failed, and exclaimed, "What!? I never!" He turned to look at her, "Oh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're at that age, and you're the type who wants to rescue guys, just like she was. It's quite noble, in fact, as long as you don't quit part-way." He took a step toward her. Kotegawa swung at him feebly, and the principal caught her arm easily, holding it. He continued his monologue, "She ran off when that scandal broke out, and is too proud to admit her mistake when it fell flat. She now keeps secrets for a man who keeps two women. I couldn't... bear to see the same happening to you." She remained still, not knowing how to respond, as he slowly drew closer. "You really do remind me of my first love..."

There were suddenly several raps on the door. Yui jumped away, her face flushed from confusion and anger. For the first time this morning the Principal looked annoyed, "That guy. He couldn't have picked a worse time...Yuuki Rito! I'm in the middle of an important meeting! Come again later!" A boy's voice answered, "Is that so, Kotekawa-san? Should I leave?" The mispronunciation of her name snapped the first-year out of her daze. "It's Kotegawa, and no, don't bother! I was about to leave, but this...this man can't find his key." "Oh, if that's all, then I'll just open this simple lock in a jiffy." There was a sound from the door-knob. The stout man firmly grabbed it and put his weight against the door, saying, "Picking locks is a violation of school rules, young man." "Guess I'd better report to the Principal's office then", Yuuki responded.

**"SLAM" **A knife-tip appeared through the door, a mere centimeter from the older man's nose, panicking him into moving as a blur to the safety of his desk. There was a clatter of metal hitting the floor. The door clicked and opened, and Kotegawa saw an unimpressive boy wearing a first-year uniform with a serious case of bed-head. He yanked his knife out of the door and said, "Well, I'm at your office now. Care to scold me?" The principal did so...weakly, "Bringing a knife to school...vandalism...and threatening me. I could report you to the police, you know." The disciplinary officer was not impressed by the pale principal's sudden interest in rules. "Go ahead." The unkempt boy answered, amused, "I'm sure the police could use the laugh. If that's all, I'll go now." Yui started a bit when he casually walked forward and took her hand. _-I let my guard down. Never again- she thought._

He lead her toward the door, stooping to pick something off the ground. "Later, then." he called out to the man still crouching on his desk, and shut the door. He took the principal's keys and locked the door, leaving the key in the lock. "Wait, you're..." She protested. "Someone will let him out before lunch ends." Rito answered. "I will, if no one else does. We do this when he's out of line. He has a toilet, snacks, and a laptop, so he'll be perfectly fine." "You should call the police" Kotegawa sternly answered now that she was mentally back in balance, "and not engage in such barbaric behavior." "The head of police, the mayor, and many other offices in the city are run by the same family, which our beloved principal is part of. What do you expect they'll do?" The boy answered calmly, guiding her back down the stairs.

They turned and she realized that they were heading back to the DC's office. "But...it's not proper." Yui finished lamely, not wanting to insult her savior. "No, it's not." the boy replied, "but it's not proper for me to do nothing, either. Anyway, he's not so bad, considering this is Disaster High." She narrowed her eyes and replied: "You're defending him? After his...shameless behavior...toward me?" Yuuki flinched at her tone, but answered anyway. "No, but in all his years the worst he's known for is cheezy come-on lines followed by unwanted attention for the next few weeks. He's stuck here: cut off from his family, who'd rather forget him if they can, so he knows his limits. If we push for a new principal, we could easily end up with worse. So we keep him, and let the Disciplinary Committee keep order. Judging from your performance, the DC is in no danger of dropping the ball."

"Is that so?" Kotegawa replied, looking for something wrong in this statement. She was still upset and needed to discipline someone. "Then you won't object if I don't drop the ball on your slovenly appearance? Especially your hair?" "Aw, nuts" Rito replied. -_I'd much rather be someplace else right now_-.

**Part 4**

Dr. Mikado's sweet face and hour-glass figure always made Haruna uneasy, but as always the older woman's business-like manner set the first year girl at ease immediately. "Oh? He mentioned that you might be stopping by." She immediately introduced her to the forms and reception area. "Just make the clients sit down and offer refreshments and a form. The drink dispenser is on the left, the snack dispenser on the right. They're numbered, and the clients will usually know what number they want. You do NOT want to know what's in those dispensers, as different foreigners have different ideas of what's good to eat. He did tell you we treat strange foreigners here?" "Ahm, he mentioned something like that" Haruna was too polite to bring up the word "extralegal". "Hmmm... well that's all except to test your nerves." the doctor stated "Ahm, yes?" Haruna kept her voice from squeaking. She felt that she was already losing the test before it had begun. "Oh, you won't have a problem most evenings. My clients are usually well-mannered, but once in a while they come with various... conditions and growths. Sometimes even injuries, if there's an emergency. Some will also will be wearing masks or wearing their native clothing. Since you're friends with the terrible two, you ought to be fine." "I...hope to meet your expectations"

Mikado-Sensei drummed her fingers on her desk. "Why don't I show you Yuuki-san's work? Has he told about it?" The girl replied "He only told me what you just told me now." Mikado-Sensei smiled "Good. Then he knows when to keep his tongue. I thought he would" "Ahm... Yes?" Haruna had no idea how to respond to this. The doctor rose from her seat and smiled, "Don't worry, I only mean Doctor-Client privacy, and that some of our medicines are best not discussed lightly, to prevent abuse." She went over to a wall blocked by a curtain, continuing her discourse, "Yuuki's been growing various cultures for me. It's a discipline that requires patience, so I haven't used it much, but your friend seems to have a knack for it." "He's always been good with plants and animals" Haruna offered, relaxing. -_It's just some slimey, smelly goo. I've had worse dumped down my back in grade school_-. Then without further ado the doctor opened the curtain part-way, revealing a body floating in giant, transparent cylinder.

Sairenji fled screaming from the clinic.

She ran straight into Yuuki, who had been relieved to be walking away from a scolding and anxious to get back to her side. Haruna stared at him blankly for a moment before recognizing him. When she did, the frightened girl proceeded to beat him repeatedly on his chest, wailing: "Why? Why? Why?" Rito was momentarily stunned by this behavior coming from one normally so peaceful, "Haruna-san, what's..." then he realized that there was only one thing that could startle her so.

He called her name repeatedly, and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her gently as he dared, 'til she had calmed down enough that she looked at him and asked a final time, "Why?" "Because living flesh and blood cannot haunt you. I don't know if the procedure I have in mind will work, but if she can be revived at all, I figured it to be worth a shot." They didn't move or say anything for a long time.

"Oy! What a view! I was just kidding this morning about you two eloping. I didn't think you'd take it so seriously!" Yuuki turned without letting go so that he could make eye-contact with Momioka. "She saw something in the clinic which came from the abandoned apartments." He told her. "Eh, something romantic?" Sawada began, "Go on, tell u..." but was interrupted by Risa's hand on her shoulder. Mio looked at her in surprise, but she simply shook her head and said, "Later".

Momioka turned back to them and said, "Let's get you two out of the hallway. Let's see, yes, this door is unlocked. Go on right ahead. I'll guard the door." Rito led Sairenji to the aforementioned door and opened it. The screams of startled girls met him, so he closed it with a quick apology. He then glared at Momioka. "Er... I was sure they'd be in the other room." she answered apologetically. Sawada attempted a verbal evasion. "I've been wondering this for a while, but why do we use the classrooms to change in?" "Because the boys keep sticking cameras in the locker rooms" -_I do not like where this conversation is headed_- Rito thought and so he said aloud, "Can we discuss this later? Next time just check the room by yourself." Risa responded, "Umm... I'm pretty sure that they'd prefer you walking in on them." Mio chimed in, "We're not welcome anymore. We keep telling them that a growing waist-line is a good thing but they won't believe us."

Yuuki sighed, and proceeded to the next door.

**Part 5**

Yuuki sighed as he hurried back from Mikado's office so that he could "enjoy" lunch out in the field. More likely, his friends would enjoy heckling him again over what had happened this morning. "Hey Chickenlegs," Cheesehead had told him, "You were supposed to confess and get dumped. You failed." "Don't be so hard on him" Monkey had spoken ironically in his defense, "Normally when a guy walks in on girls changing clothes he becomes an instant total jerk and enemy of all women. It's not Rito's fault that they called him a 'considerate jerk' and let him off the hook. Why, he even walked in on a half-dozen groups, and they still forgave him anyway. It was half a dozen times... wasn't it Yuuki-san?" The beet-red target of their inquiry answered(lest an "argument" break out as to the exact number) "7 times. Then I went into the restroom." He deliberately avoided the pronoun "we" for the sake of the then pale Sairenji. "The girl's restroom, wasn't it?" his annoying friend had pressed. "So I've been told." Yuuki reluctantly replied, to which they heckled him about paying attention to which restroom was which. "I know you were all flustered at the time, but that's really no excuse now, is it? Why, you've even managed to top Cheesehead, which is really saying something, isn't it?" "Yeah what he said"

Then Prissy had said something, which was, for once, not ignored, "Wasn't he helping some poor girl? Wasn't that the reason he was forgiven?" "Oh yeah, I heard something about that, too. Some girl from the tennis club wasn't she? Momioka, do you know anything about it?" The slim Sairenji had then tried to make herself even smaller. Risa had ignored the inquiry, stood up and entwined her arm with Rito's, gazed wondrously into his eyes, and spoke thusly to him: "Don't you mind them, my sweet-pea. They're just jealous. I think you're simply wonderful the way you don't suppress your...(she eyed him up and down at this juncture) youthful energy. Not everyone has the courage to be themselves." He was fairly certain that his blush had turned crimson at her attention, though lacking a mirror, he couldn't be sure.

The classroom had lost interest in the festivities at this time. "Isn't Momioka in the tennis club?" a boy asked. "Well duh" The girl next to him answered. "This is so like her." "So Yuuki-kun is her victim this week." "I'm glad it's him and not me." Cheesehead made an attempt to keep the teasing up, "Oy, Rito, you two-timer! I thought you liked..." but he was kicked by both Monkey and Prissy, so he finished lamely, "urk...someone else." Risa's gaze remained undimmed. "Ohhh... do you have a girl you like? I don't mind," she started wagging her finger at this point, "No. Not, In. The. Least." He had then taken advantage of the break she had given him to say, "I've got to speak to the nurse" and started out the door. On his heels had come the jibe, "Mikado-Sensei too? Chickenlegs...you dog!" and they started a yowling which Rito supposed was intended to sound like a pack of hounds, but instead more resembled the screeching of owls. Honekawa-Sensei, who was hard of hearing and never knew what his students were talking about, then asked if the heater needed to be fixed again.

Again, Rito sighed. Maybe he should skip lunch...but if he did that, then he wouldn't have the stamina to walk the dogs in the afternoon.

He quickly turned a corner and ran into someone. He reflexively caught the other person's shoulders and kept them both from falling. Yuuki apologized instantly, "Oh sorry, I was..." She didn't give him a chance to apologize: "Yuuki Rito-san! What do you think you're doing?!" Kotegawa Yui demanded. -_Aw, nuts. Not her again_- "Like I was saying, I wasn't paying attention..." "Not that...this!" and with her hand she held up a slip of paper while, with her eyes she held his. -_Am I supposed to be looking at her, or the paper?_- He glanced at the paper, not wanting to engage in a staring contest with Kotegawa, which would undoubtedly outlast what remained of the lunch period. "You are in my thoughts. Let's meet up after classes" was written on it, in addition to a number of cutesy doodles. -_Oh, that_- "That's to keep the principal from harassing you. I didn't know if you would have a friend cover for you, and that even if you already did, two would be better than one."

The fiery girl snorted, "And just HOW is the principal going to be discouraged by a letter he'll never see?" Her eyes dared Yuuki to answer. He did, "He routinely checks the lockers of the girls he stalks" his eyebrows drew together in puzzlement, "did you not know that?" She stared at him suspiciously, "No one has ever reported such a thing" Kotegawa stated. "To the disciplinary committee?" Yuuki replied, "Why would they? Rumor has it that this is the quickest way of ridding the principal, and as you can easily imagine, girls want to be rid of him as quickly as possible."

They continued to glare at one another for a space, before he finally said, "I have to finish lunch" and he tried to walk away. She blocked his path "You should join the Committee. You wouldn't have to rely on such...shameless tactics then." she told him. "That would take me away from where I'm needed, so sorry." he answered, and went on his way. He didn't hear her murmer, "Coward, just say it directly, so I can reject you directly."

Rito sighed a third time, wondering if the committee member had him in her sights for reformation. He started up the stairs, turned, and then...

"Oy, Rito-kun!" He was suddenly glomped. Trying to maintain balance, his right hand grabbed the railing. Rito's left hand found Risa's back, not that she needed any help clinging to him. "Rito-kun, Darling, you don't need to be so reserved in where you grab me." Time to change the subject quickly: "Hello Momioka. Why don't you let me grab my lunch." -_that was not the smartest thing I could have said just now_- He could feel his ears turning red already -_I guess no one can get used to this girl so easily_- Her eyes, only inches away, sparkled with glee. "I'm already one step ahead of you, Darling!" she cheerfully reported, "Our lunches are on the rooftop. But if you want to go back to class like this..." she leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "I wouldn't mind playing there, either."

Rito completely believed that Risa would be all too happy to make a scene in the classroom again, and carried her to the rooftop. He didn't try to dislodge her for very good reasons. Momioka never gave up on her practical jokes easily and would fight him if he tried to peel her off. Fighting a tall, athletic girl on the stairs was NOT A GOOD IDEA. Tussling with her at any place was not a good idea anyway, Yuuki knew from experience, since she fought dirty. Last time he managed to "win" by pinning her to the ground(with him on top), and she reacted by giving him all sorts of unsolicited advice...very loudly. He did not hear the end of that for months. So Rito climbed the stairs with Risa wrapped around him like a towel, hoping that she would lower her guard at the top. Watching for this opportunity, he opened the doors to the roof and stepped through.

"Welcome!" Mio greeted them cheerfully, "You make a cute couple. Are you practicing for your wedding?" Haruna said not a word, but was picking at her lunch. Rito glared at Risa. She grinned at him broadly and said, "Gotcha!" Evidently she had not forgotten about this morning. She finally got down and joined the other two. "Oh, you can stop glaring so, it was just a joke. You can come sit in my lap by way of apology." She patted her thigh in emphasis. He declined her offer, but instead sat down on the opposite side between Mio and Haruna. The latter was still picking at her food.

Momioka noticed this, too, and being the one who could get away with being insensitive, asked aloud, "What did Mikado-Sensei have to say?" Yuuki began to answer: "She said that Sairenji..." "I'm so sorry." The aforementioned interrupted softly as she bowed to him(on her knees) in apology. "You did this for my sake, but I ruined it." "Err... no need to be so formal, Sairenji" Momioka replied, "We're all friends here, right?" But she continued to bow. Sawada's eyes went wide at the prostrate girl and looked to the other two for answers. None was forthcoming: Risa was too flustered, not knowing how to deal with serious behavior. Rito's eyes were fixed on Haruna. He decided on a normal, friendly tone in his reply,

It's all right, Haruna-san", he replied, "You didn't ruin anything. Mikado-san wants to see you again this afternoon. I've already removed the stuff back to the old apartment. We were meaning to do that anyway, since the clinic was getting crowded anyway, as you may have noticed." She lifted her head fractionally, and Yuuki, who had casually leaned back, could just barely see that the poor girl was not quite keeping tears from welling up. "But I...in front of her..." she answered. "Doctor Mikado has worked in triage and in war-zones before, so she's seen the affects of shock. She's seen worse, and with that experience in mind, she still wants to see you this afternoon. You can trust her judgment."

Mikado had been surprised, however, when Yuuki explained that Haruna had been terrified by the owner of the floating body 2 years past. "But Murasame-chan is garrulous to the point of being annoying. How can anyone be afraid of her?" "Erm, but she can be... enthusiastic." he had responded, "and Oshizu was very enthusiastic to make Sairenji-san's acquaintance." "Even so..." Mikado had answered doubtfully. Rito had then pressed his argument, "Anyone would be startled when the contents of their room suddenly turn end over end with no warning." "Perhaps, but not anyone can assist in my clinic." "Feeling ashamed, our friendly ghost tried to apologize via the mirror", he had continued on, "forgetting that she was out of practice in making a coherent image. The result was an apparition even she admitted was ghastly. Even more ashamed, Oshizu-chan tried all the harder to make it up to her...for several weeks afterward." The Doctor had allowed her mature eyes to widen at this, and a smile to touch her generous lips. Mikado had then replied "Oh my. That would be quite troublesome, wouldn't it?"

She had then allowed the smile to touch her eyes, which were looking at him in a way that had made Yuuki uncomfortable. He had then continued, "Erm... Very much so. Haruna did not know what to make of it, and feared that she was going crazy. Even so, she sought help, and has mostly recovered from that experience. What happened this morning surprised her, but she's already fine. Honestly, I was surprised, too. You told me you weren't going to touch my stuff, as a matter of professional pride." The woman had not responded immediately to this challenge, but allowed a silence to stretch out between them as she appeared deep in thought. She had then started absent-mindedly playing with the front of her...whatever it was she was wearing on top. It looked like a daring night-dress cut short to make a shirt. He had then checked himself. -_Idiot_- Yuuki scolded himself -_Quit checking out your boss. Keep your eyes on the ball, not her b...you know what_- . The mature woman had then finally decided to respond(since the young man was done making a fool of himself anyway): "Well, then, if she's still up to it, tell her to come in this afternoon. If she comes, she passes the courage test, but don't tell her that. " He had answered with something cool like, "Erm...Yes! I mean no! Erm...Good! I'll just go and tell her, then. Erm...See you later!" and then also coolly fled like a panicked deer. He had been well away when Mikado-Sensei stopped playing with her shirt and said aloud, "Seems like I still got it. I wonder what the problem is, then?"

Presently, Sawada lost to impatience and said, "No problems here. It's not like I mind being kept in the dark or anything. No, just continue to ignore me and keep having this special moment between the three of you. I'll just go and find some new friends, you know, the kind that doesn't keep secrets." Momioka was happy to have something to do: "Good-bye then!(slaps her on the back) Don't let the door hit your rear on the way out!(Tries to slap her there, but fails), "It's no problem, really, you'll just miss out, that's all." Mio took the bait, and said "Miss out on what?" "Oh nothing. Just the curse of the old school building." She responded. "Everyone knows about that!" "Then you really won't be missing anything, now, will you?"

The frustrated girl turned to Yuuki. "Does the curse have anything to do with this, or is Risa-chan yanking my chain again?" "Erm...both." He looked to Sairenji, who actually pouted (in a cute way of course, at least in his eyes), and stated, "Oh don't be silly, I'm fine already. Quit treating me like a kid." "Oh, sorry." "It's all right. Just stop." "That's the Haruna-chan I know." She blushed. Mio mimed a gag. Risa looked like she was deciding which bit of unsolicited advice would be the most embarrassing to give. Yuuki turned to the mime and said, "Did you know that a few years back, the old school was renovated a bit, but construction halted due to safety concerns?" "Oh, yeah. That's the official, boring story. What really happened was..."

He interrupted Sawada to say. "It's close to time. Did you want to spend the rest of lunch telling ghost stories, or did you want to hear what happened to Sairenji?" She looked at her cell-phone. "Oh yeah it's almost time." She turned to Sairenji, "So, what did happen?" Haruna did not meet her gaze. Rito answered for her, "The old building was being renovated into an apartment, and the west wing was in business while the rest was being worked on. The Sairenji's rented a room there and personally witnessed some of the ghost's shenanigans." Risa interrupted him, "It was so fun! I stayed over whenever I could! There was blood on the walls, floating objects, and weird messages being left, and nothing ever stayed on film. Then there was this one time we got a flying lesson..." Rito took the opportunity to scarf down his lunch. Naturally the she-imp interrupted him, "Oh, before I forget, what was stuff from there doing in the clinic anyway? Is our little Rito-kun learning the pleasures of grave-robbing?" He stopped eating long enough to answer, "Sensei bought the rights of the building. She's expanding her practice and needs the space. I helped move stuff back and forth."

"Che. How boring. Com'n Rito-kun, spill: what exactly are you hiding that scared Haruna-chi so?" Rito-kun, however, decided to finish scarfing down his lunch. Momioka tried to snatch it away, but he suddenly stood up. He then dodged from side to side as she lunged after him, all the while stuffing food down his throat without choking... a skill that he had developed with long practice. Finally he let her have the lunch box. Risa looked surprised for the moment it took for her to realize that the box was empty. Yuuki told her, "Thanks for volunteering to wash my box. I really appreciate it!" "Appreciate this!", came her classy response as she threw the box at him and lunged for his middle. Expecting this, Rito deftly twisted aside, caught the box with one hand, and twisted Risa's arm behind her back with the other. "Oy! Showing off by beating a girl, Rito-kun?" She carefully struggled against his grip (she knew what a sprain felt like). He answered her, "Why don't we tell your Mom how girly you think you are?", then yelled over the rooftop, "Momioka-san! Your daughter's up here. She has something she wants to tell you!"

"What! Already!" Risa exclaimed, "She usually doesn't show up until after class. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!" and tried to stomp on his toes in emphasis. He finally released her, and she promptly disappeared down the stairwell. Sawada looked down over the side, and said, "There is an older woman down there, but she doesn't look anything like Momioka-san." "Really?" Rito said innocently, "I must've been too distracted to see her clearly." "She's going to kill you, you know."Sawada stated cheerfully. Haruna interjected, "If Rito-kun and Risa-chan were going to kill one another, it would have happened long before now. They like each other too much." "Uhm...sure. If you say so", came Mio's doubtful reply. "I do say so." came the confident response.

**Part 6**

After classes Yuuki carried a burden to the improvised dog kennel. "I need you to run these supplies to the persons on the list." Mikado-Sensei had told him "But..." he protested. "I can oversee Sairenji-san by myself." "But..." he glanced at Momioka and Sawada. "I'll shoo them out if they get too out of hand." "But..." he glanced at a ruddy man wearing a hooded coat. "Don't worry, he's a friend." "But..." Yuuki finally scowled down at the case. Mikado smiled at him "It's not my fault you're good at deliveries. You're the one who keeps running everywhere." "My perfect health is going to kill me" Rito had complained. Presently Stinker was doing her level best to bark her head off. -what a complete not-surprise- However, as he came closer to the old building, he also detected Samurai's warning growl. -She's here- He shifted his burden to his back and stepped into the holey shed where he kept the dogs in order to confirm his suspicion.

"Hello, Murasame-san." Yuuki spoke into the cool air. A soft blue light filled the shed as a chill caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. The canines suddenly became quiet, as he saw a girl stand up. Her neat hair and dress kimono, combined with her simple, friendly smile, Murasame Shizu looked a bit like a traditional doll, albeit a doll with two glowing orbs atop her shoulders which shimmered like water. "I'm surprised you can stand to be in here."

"I told you to call me Shizu" she scolded, "and they're not so bad when they can't come near." Nevertheless, she inched away from the wire screen that held the canines at bay. Yuuki had made that screen to keep them from the part of the shed where he stored the dog food, not to keep Samurai and Stinker penned. They could easily escape through a hole in the shed. Where Oshizu's spirit was standing was actually one of the few places in the old building that the dogs couldn't get to. The repaired rooms were canine-free, of course, but the ghost girl shied away from the parts that were currently used by the living. She was still deeply embarrassed by the events of two years ago. Her reason for being in the shed became immediately clear when Oshizu inquired, "So how did Haruna fare...sorry, I mean Sairenji-san."

"It's fine to call her Haruna-san, she won't mind" Yuuki gently corrected her -Haruna will mind other matters, but not that-, then he told her about his day: "She didn't flinch at all when Mikado-Sensei introduced her to Girpy and he decided to shake her hand with his tentacle. Girpy immediately came to regret his mischief when Risa-chan and Mio-san insisted on shaking it as well and they both wound up spurting blood all over him..." She interrupted him, astral eyes going wide "What!? No! It can't be! Say it isn't real!" The innards of the shed began to tremble. Samurai fled the coop, with Stinker quickly following. "Whoa, calm down, Oshizu-chan. The blood was fake. They're safe. I've told you what pranksters those two are." Yuuki patted her on her astral head with his free left hand. It immediately froze. "Really? I'm so glad." She immediately regained her prior composure and interest to ask, "So what happened next?" He shook the icicles off and answered, then the terrible two immediately regretted their mischief because, just then, Momioka-san showed up, looking for her daughter. After we reassured her and the panicking Girpy that the blood was fake, the enraged mother dragged Risa and Mio out the door by their ears. Sawada kept protesting, 'I'm not your daughter. I'm not your daughter.' To which Momioka-san replied, 'You might as well be.'"

Murasame laughed heartfully, and the room became decidedly less cool. "I sure look forward to the day I can meet them face to face." She looked him in the eye as she said this. Rito fidgeted under her hopeful gaze. "I'm grateful for you're trust" he replied, "and I ask for your patience." She looked down. "Of course. Forgive this maiden's impatience." "It's fine. I'd better go." "Oh won't you stay a few minutes?" "Not when your minute can last a day. If I don't stop by in the evening, I'll see you in the morning." "In the morning" she echoed, and vanished from sight. -I have no idea how long before her new body stabilizes, I wonder if I'm giving her false hope- Now his insides felt cold, and he sighed from deep in his heart.

**Part 7**

The canine greeting committee that met Rito outside would not allow him to remain depressed. Samurai promptly demanded a belly rub. Stinker tried licking his face as he squatted down to comply, but wanted to run around in circles at the same time, so her attempts failed. After giving them attention for a few minutes he cheerfully called them to order and started to run. They didn't need leashes, as an invisible leash bonded them.

Yuuki Mikan saw the two dogs before she saw her brother and promptly hid behind a tree. It was the best she could do on short notice, but she knew her attempt to hide would fail. Before she was sniffed out, Mikan's two friends each grabbed one of her arms, dragged her out behind the tree with grins on their faces, and yelled, "Rito-oniisan! Over here!" "Traitors" she grumbled at them. Mikan didn't resist as her brother picked her up easily and kissed her on the cheek, but she did protest, "Brother, stop it, you're embarrassing me." "That's what family's for" Rito grinned at her, "besides, how can I resist being affectionate toward my one and only little sister?" "Stop, already, which era where you were born in?" "I think it was when dinosaurs ruled the earth. I'll get dad to tell you how we hunted T-Rexes when I was knee high." He put her down. As she dusted off his cooties, she calmly replied, "Don't you dare. He'll make a serialization of it."

Mikan's two friends wasted no time: "My turn! Kiss me!" "No it's my turn, it was your turn last time!" "Liar! It was not!" -Weren't these two supposed to have graduated from kindergarten already?- Stinker tried kissing both of them, interrupting their squabble temporarily. "Doggy breath! Gross!" -Well done, you annoying pooch- Outwardly Rito said, "Why don't you get your own brothers to kiss you?" Predictably the answer was: "Ewww, no, my brother's grosser than doggy germs" and "My brother's too cool to hang out with his sister." "Doesn't that make me gross and uncool?" he replied. "No, that makes you cooler" one of them answered. -Nothing beats 5th-grade logic- "If you say so, I'm not going to argue about it" and he promptly picked them both up and kissed them on the cheek at the same time. Back on the ground, the two girls wasted no time: "He kissed me first." "Did not." "Fine, he kissed you first. That means I'm first next time." "Are not."

The brother glanced at his sister. "I thought you weren't in favor of having immature friends." "They only act like this around you. Your stupidity is infectious"she retorted. "All the more reason for me to hang out with stupid people then. They won't notice any infection." "Whatever you say, bozo brother. Or maybe I should call you freak, instead, for touching their rears" "Huh? I couldn't use their armpits to lift both of them, and anyway they're just kids." "They're in 5th grade already, and gossip constantly about crushes" "So? I've known four-year old girls who've already decided who they're going to marry." "All the more reason for you to be cautious." "Of these two? Even if they do make wedding plans for me in my absence they'd never agree on who'd the bride would be." "You're too careless, brother. Have you thought of what would happen if a police officer saw you, or their parents?" "Yes, yes I have: my dear sister and my dear friends will gladly dress up as ninjas and break me out of jail. we will then form an evil organization that will take over the world and remove the age restriction on marriage."

Mikan stared at Rito a moment before replying: "That WOULD be evil. Notwithstanding, be serious. Where would your little sister be if my brother was arrested." "Not having to worry about surprise hugs in public?" he responded. "Baka-Brother!" she retorted. "Relax, my precocious sister, this district is like a small town, with everyone knowing everyone. Even Momioka-chan doesn't have a police record... yet." However, she didn't relax at this, but answered, "Momioka-chan has Momioka-san. The police know better than to mess with those two. You only have me, with the rest of the family is scattered." Rito raised an eyebrow at this, "Did someone actually complain?" "Well...no" "Then don't borrow trouble", he patted her head, "Thank you, though." Mikan wasn't quite mollified by this, though: "Trouble might happen." To this, her brother replied: "And maybe we'll be invaded by space aliens tonight."

He turned to the other two girls. They had forgotten their original argument and were somehow discussing whether Yosho or Yoshi (the male romantic interest of two different magical girl shows) was cuter. He thought first of interrupting their argument by saying Potato-Head-san was the cutest, thought better of it and kept his mouth closed, then he scooped up Mikan and started running. The dogs quickly picked up that cue and ran ahead. 'Twas not long before he heard the protest: "Hey! Get back here!"

His sister made the following comment: "Now you're touching my rear." "I didn't want you feeling left out," her brother was able to respond, since he wasn't yet winded. "Whatever, Baka-Brother" she replied.

After seeing all three of the girls home, Yuuki quickly departed to make the deliveries. He had to pass near the school again. He made a slight detour around it, wanting to avoid Murasame.

**Part 8**

"Oy...! Rito!" -aw, nuts, she escaped from her mom- He was soon jogging side by side with Risa, who immediately glanced over her shoulder after waving at him in greeting. "Shouldn't... you be... in club?" he asked. She panted in answer, "I'll be...caught there." "Won't she...let go...for club?" "Known mother...how long?" "I have...errands." "No prob." "You're still... bloody." "Cool." She continued tagging along, even while glancing over her shoulder. Her cell-phone squawked something which others mistakenly called music, and she brought it out without slowing down even a bit. Rito glanced at the text message. "You...ditched...Mio?" he panted. She shrugged, "No choice... Make up... later." "She's not...happy... right now" he pointed out. "Said I'll...make up!" Risa protested.

They caught their breaths in front of a small house. "What's the...deal?" she queried. "Delivery... prescriptions." he managed to reply. "I'll say hello... Should be fun" she offered. "He's cranky" he warned. She grinned at him. "Even better", and she strode right up to the front door. Yuuki imagined a few worst-case scenarios, and quickly followed her. The door opened before Momioka knocked, and she was met by what looked like a cross between a toddler and a cabbage-patch doll aiming a toy space gun at her heart. He said tersely, "I know him . Who're you?" Rito spared a glance at Momioka's eyes. They had, as they too often did, an evil gleam. -not good- "I'm the Pink Ranger Gigi of the Power Rangers. Nice to meet you," she proffered her hand, "That's a nice gun there. Can I have it?"

The cabbage-patch alien backed away from her hand nervously. "Stay away from me!" he squeaked, his aim wobbling. The wobbling grew worse and his eyes grew wide as he looked at her uniform. "Is...is that blood?" "Oh this?" Risa grinned evilly as she plucked at her red-stained shirt, "I killed some baddies on the way here and carelessly ripped one apart with my bare hands. It's unfortunate, but now I'll have to clean myself off." Yuuki began to sweat as the blasters aim was now all over the hemisphere, only to stare in horror as the devil girl deftly took the ray gun from his hand and pointed it straight at the little alien's head. -donotpresstrigger donotpresstriggerdonotpresst riggerdonotpresstrigger...- She continued her villainous monologue: "now, why don't you be a good boy and go run screaming to your momma and poppa?" He turned immediately to comply, but his assailant had no mercy and aimed at his turned back and pulled the trigger. Her companion jarred her elbow, so the glowing beam, instead of hitting the diminutive target, hit the upper wall...and went straight through...taking out a good part of the ceiling and roof as well.

The cabbage patch alien fell to the ground and fainted dead away. Risa looked at what used to be the ceiling with her mouth open. Rito did several things. First he snatched the ray-gun out out of the hand of his dazzled partner-in-crime, and switched it to a safer setting. Second, he purse-snatched the senseless alien dwarf and liberated a few diamonds from it. Then he activated the case(biometrically) and a green cylinder with a descriptive symbol popped out. He left it in Grouchy the dwarf's hand. Finally Yuuki grabbed Momioka by the hand and sprinted until they were several blocks away.

"What...was that?" His who-needs-an-enemy-when-you-have-me friend finally managed to ask. -Erm, where do I begin?- He spoke: "That wasn't a child wearing a mask. That was, and presumably still is, a space alien, and that was a real space gun you snatched from his hand. It's made to look like a cheap toy so that the local, normal police don't try to confiscate them. They typically have two settings: stun, and kill. Yours seems to have a third setting: overkill; which is dumb for a small blaster with a limited battery life; there's probably not much juice left in it. Our Groucho the faint-hearted is a fugitive of some galactic power or other, and hasn't taken too well to life life on the run, so he refuses to leave his house. Mikado-Sensei has volunteered me to run medicines and food to him and others like him. Most of her patients see her at the clinic, fortunately, but the few who order out are wackoes and painful to deal with. Did you get all that?" "No" she promptly answered, grinning, "Can I have my space gun back? Pink Power Ranger Gigi can't make her debut without it." Yuuki groaned; -at least she's feeling better-.

Momioka insisted on tagging along thereafter, so he reluctantly handed the gun back to her. -hopefully she won't figure out how to reconfigure the settings until after we get back to the clinic- Then Rito noticed something other than fake blood on her shirt. He pointed this out and said,"The second reason Overkill is dumb for small blaster is that the backwash will hit you. Your uniform is charcoal. Are you all right?" "Yeah, I think so" she responded readily, touching the blackened area on the top of her overshirt, and then asked "Why is it called backwash when it hit the front?" He refrained from wincing and answered, "Because it comes from the back end of the blaster." "How dirty-minded", Momioka replied, trying to rub the soot out, "I think that frontwash would make much more sense...Oh." The charcoal crumbled between her fingers -how is something that is suppose to do minimal damage to organics do that to something made of plant fibers? Is it the lack of water?-

She smiled, "Oh well, it's a loss, anyway", and Risa tore the blackened part of her over-shirt off. Lacking the crumbly support, the buttons of the shirt underneath fell off. Upon further probing on her part, the undershirt was still intact, but... "It looks ugly" she noted critically, and separated it so that it was folded underneath the overshirt, revealing quite a bit of her bosom and exposing a bit of her bra. She struck a pose, aiming her blaster at the sky, and said(while winking at Rito), "Super sexy ranger Gigi go!" -preferably somewhere else- Out loud Yuuki said, "I'll be sure to recommend you when a director wants to lose ratings fast." "How mean. I thought it was rather cool." "Who knows? Maybe someone will be cheap enough to produce, 'Magical Girls Gone Wild, and you will make your debut there." She wrinkled her face in a scowl, "I think that may have been meaner." She promptly gave him an uncomfortable one-armed hug around his neck and declared, "I don't want to go public anyway. I would never mess with anyone's head unless he's a friend." -lucky me-

Fortunately, he already had a diversion ready. "You look sunburned" Yuuki commented while bringing out a small can of aloe, "I'm glad you're feeling all right, but this might help." Risa looked, down, as if noticing this for the first time, and said, "You're right, this won't leave a tan, will it?" Then her face showed that she had thought of new mischief already, and her mouth quickly confirmed this by saying sweetly: "Rito-darling, I have no idea how to use that(the aloe), why don't you apply it for me?" Saying this, she spread the new opening in her shirt even wider, exposing one of her shoulders in the process.

However, in doing so, she used both her hands, releasing her friend, who quickly used the opportunity to distance himself a few meters. He tossed her the aloe cylinder. The impious girl grew annoyed and said, "Oh don't be silly, you know I don't know how to use this, it's alien, right?" "It's a local design, actually", Rito answered his fiendish friend without looking directly at her, "You just press your thumb against one end, and aloe comes out the other." "C'mon Rito, you know me. I'm seriously not going to get it unless you show me. We're old friends, right? There's no need to be so shy." "We are old friends, and I do know you, well enough to know you'll tell everyone about it in a weird way?" "So? No one will believe me, anyway." -that's actually a good point- "C'mon Rito, I can't help but mess with, well, everyone, but I still don't want my skin to fall off or whatever. You've always been serious when things get serious, so don't be a drag now." Her friend scratched his head and finally replied, "Oh...all right." He stepped forward, took the cylinder and applied a line of the cream from clavicle to clavicle, "I suppose I'll be the one giving you a closer examination back in the clinic anyway, since Mikado-Sensei will be busy." She move her face closer to his and answered, "Eh, really, a closer examination, you say? I'll be looking forward to it." Yuuki responded coldly, "That should be enough start out with, apply it yourself. Your skin can fall off for all I care." "Whoa, calm down Rito-kun, it's just a joke, don't stop there." Silence met her. "C'mon, you know I can't even apply sun-block correctly. I'm sorry, so please?"

Surprisingly, the rest of the deliveries were relatively uneventful, and it was likely due to Momioka's earlier blunder. The next house had the diamond payment left out at the gate, hidden in an envelope with a note that said, "Here's what we agreed upon. Leave the medicine here." "That's odd" Rito observed, "Usually they try to haggle down the price, and I have to threaten to leave with the medicine to keep them from taking too much of my time." "Eh? Sounds interesting" Risa said normally (she never stayed upset for long), and rang out the intercom, "Oy in there! Are you sure you don't want to negotiate? You could at least come out and say hello!" A gutteral voice answered, "No, we are busy. Leave medicine. Take diamonds and your enforcer and go!" "Enforcer?!" she started tittering, "Am I a yakuza, now?" Yuuki smiled and said to his laughing friend, "I wonder how they got that impression? All you did was try to shoot the last guy in the back, and disintegrate his roof." "Yeah, but it was his gun, I didn't know it was real." "Looks like they don't want to take their chances with you. Well, I guess this confirms my suspicion that our most difficult clients conspire together. I wasn't sure before." Momioka-chan suddenly had serious on her face(which surprised and scared her longtime friend)"By the way, Rito, thank you for stopping me. I don't know what I would have done if I had actually offed that guy." "Maybe you would stop and actually become a serious person." "No way!" The next house did the same thing, only they made the mistake of using the Universal Translator instead of asking someone who knew the local language, so their note read, "This is a gift, so have a love baby by the drugs." A red-faced Rito was left to explain to Risa, who would not stop laughing(and crying, and sitting as she was unable to stand), that the Murtoph avians' use of the word "leave" was highly flexible. Again, relatively uneventful.

The walk back to the clinic had even less incidents, other than two minor ones. Firstly, Risa wanted to know what kind of cut she could expect for her work. "Diamonds are a girls best friend, after all." "But you can't play mind games on diamonds." "True, so I guess they're second best friends." "Most cultures like to negotiate and haggle, so keep that in mind when you ask Mikado-Sensei for payment." "So she's an alien, too? Cool. Don't be stingy, Yuuki-kun, can't you pay me out of your own cut?" "I'm not paid with diamonds, instead, I have access to certain medical equipment, so I suppose I will be be paying you when I...double-check that you're alright. You can also make appointments later if anything comes up." "It'll be a date then." The boy reflexively rolled his eyes toward heaven at this. Secondly, Momioka wondered out loud about using the blaster to deal with her still-angry mother. "That might work once, assuming it still works, and then she'll confiscate it." "Arggh, you're right. Isn't there some way of dealing with her?" "You could try acting like a good girl for a week" he replied helpfully, "her head might explode wondering what you were up to." She grimaced, "My head would explode first." "Oh, by the way, when you negotiate with Sensei, make sure she checks out and recharges the gun as part of the deal" -that should take care of the third setting-

Upon returning, Yuuki talked Momioka-san into witholding Momioka-chan's scolding until they had returned home. Nevertheless, the petite mother still asked "Do I want to know how she did that to her uniform?"(Yuuki already knew from experience that "no, you don't" was not a valid answer) "Erm, she mistook a dwarf for a child and grabbed something out of his hand which she thought a toy, but wasn't a toy." "Something?" the compactly built Momioka-san asked quietly. She didn't need volume to be intimidating. "Erm, it might have been a cooking utensil. For all I know, it might have been used as an iron. I'm a guy, so I don't know about appliances. It was burning hot, whatever it was." She then became acquiesant and let her daughter be examined without further comment, except for when Momioka complained, "This isn't nearly so fun as I expected. Mothers sure ruin everything." To this, the mother curtly replied, "Check-ups aren't supposed to be fun. It's the rule of the universe." Mikado-Sensei agreed with her. Sawada(bribed by Yuuki with candy) came over and made conversation(and made up) with Momioka, making the check-up more bearable for all parties around.

**Part 9**

After they left, the boy heaved a sigh of relief, and pleasantly chatted with Haruna, who agreed to take a break then. After mentioning an edited version of his adventure with Risa (which still left his beloved's face red and saying, "She did THAT, that's so like her!"), he contented himself with listening to her voice(a rare treat) as she described her experiences so far. "Mikado-Sensei is so amazing, the way she sets everyone at ease and still comes across as professional. She even assured me by saying that I have good bed-side manner, too, though I'm sure I have much to learn. The patients I've met so far are very friendly and polite. The only trouble I had was with Girpy, who nearly jumped out of his skin when I asked him to sit down. I think he was afraid of me because I know Risa-san and Mio-san. He warmed up a bit when I didn't do anything mean, but he never removed his trench-coat." She became pensive when she said that last, and asked, "Would...it be polite to ask?" Yuuki answered calmly(since he was in the state of Nirvana), "It's not a big deal, it's just that way his people are proud of a certain look which most outsiders find startling, so he compromises with the Sensei by wearing that trench-coat. Don't ask him to take it off, and if you see something odd, don't freak out. If he sees you as an easy target, he'll avenge himself on you for what Risa and Mio have done to him, which would only encourage those two to make things worse. I'm glad you're doing well; the work here is rewarding if one is up to doing it."

She nodded cheerfully at this "It's very rewarding, and I'll watch out for pranks here as well. Looks like tricksters are common to every culture. Oh, and I learned something interesting about Mikado-Sensei, and she has no problem with everyone knowing about it, that she has love problems, too. She was putting Girpy on the spot when he was still afraid of me, which I thought mean, but tricksters are often treated like that so I didn't say anything, and she asked why men were avoiding her. I guess he's the go-to guy for gossip just like our two friends are at school, they are amazingly alike. Anyway, Girpy finally answered and it sounded like some cultural rule I couldn't quite understand, something about staying at the lord's house?" He nodded with a bit of energy and answered, "When a prominent official invites a beautiful women into one of his homes, it usually means she's off limits to everyone else, for obvious reasons. Our boss paid for the old building and her house with her own money, and she has a low opinion of the principal and his family, but she still acquired those buildings from them and customs are customs. So that's what she was doing earlier."

"Oh, did she do something, if you don't mind my asking?" Sairenji inquired politely, yet with signs of interest. Rito turned pink, and thought -I would mind, but I'd rather die than admit it- then he answered carefully, "Nothing much. She just flirted with a guy right in front of me." -Actually the guy was me- Haruna covered her mouth and became pink as well, "Oh that would be embarrassing. As expected of Sensei, she found a man so quickly. Who is he?" Now the flustered boy turned red, but still managed to avoid hyperspeak, "Erm, I'm pretty sure the guy would rather remain anonymous." "Oh, of course. Sorry for asking." "It's not a big deal, she didn't seem serious, anyway." Haruna frowned, "Sounds like something my older sister would do. Are you sure?" Yuuki shrugged, "If I'm wrong, we'll probably find out in a few days." -in which case I'll be buying a single one way trip to Hong Kong; there's no way I'm bringing a woman nearly twice my age home to meet my sister-

Yuuki decided to change the subject, and looked at the time on his cell-phone. "Let's be getting back to work. I still have to walk Maron." "Oh you don't have to." Sairenji made no move to get up. "It's on my way, and I have a few other things to do before dinner. Would you care to join us?" "Wouldn't I be a bother." "No, I'm sure Mikan would love to have the company, and she always cooks extra since I'm a guy and Dad sometimes shows up." "I have plans with my sister tonight. Thank you, though." "Another time then", Rito said reluctantly, "I'll come back in an hour or so with Maron." "Is that really fine with you?" she asked. "Of course." The girl finally stood up to say, "See you later, then." She folded her hands behind her and wasn't making eye contact. "Erm, yes, see you soon" Yuuki replied, but made no immediate movement to leave. They stood like that for a moment, until Mikado-Sensei snorted in amusement and shooed him out of the clinic.

**Part 10**

-Ugh, I have that next, don't I- he thought. He procrastinated a bit by checking on the canines, who were resting in the nearby shack. Samurai had covered 3x the distance her owner had, and Stinker(who was now comatose) had run at least 10x the distance. After giving them a pat, Yuuki was out of excuses and entered the school again. He found Kotegawa in the committee room, writing up a report. She immediately took notice of his entrance and demanded, "What are you doing here?" He replied, "Erm...I was going to walk you home?" "I'm quite old enough to walk by myself." "So you are, but it's against my principles to let the principal near a girl alone, even if she is an officer." She seemed to have trouble finding anything wrong with this statement, so she merely said, "Whatever. Do as you wish." Another committee officer whispered to him, "Good Luck." "With what?" Yuuki asked suspiciously. The officer grinned and answered, "With living to see another sunset, of course." "Thank you so very much." "Don't mention it" "I won't"

They made it out to the gates with no incident. The principal had walked swiftly away when he caught sight of them at a distance. Outside of the gate, Kotegawa spoke up, "I should write you up for knocking a hole in the door. Even if the principal is shameless, that was going too far." Luckily, Yuuki had an answer for this, "You'd better not. The door has probably been replaced by now. If you write a report, you'll cause confusion and lose credibility." "You're kidding me! Surely it would take months to order such a high quality door!" she scoffed. "No, really," he assured her, "those doors were originally part of a set for some apartments the principal was renovating, only his former wife hated them and he had to set them in storage. At least that's what I overheard him telling another girl who was trying to scratch her way free. So I figured it was okay to wreck the door." "How shameless!" Rito decided not to ask whether she meant him or the principal.

Yui's next words surprised him. "I'm sorry," she murmered, "I know you're trying to help." He nodded wordlessly. She continued, "I'm just...what is wrong with this school?" Yuuki shrugged, "Disaster High has become a dumping ground for the city and its neighbors..." He was interrupted with an acidic, "So I'm trash?" He replied calmly, "Everyone has their circumstances. I've heard you were falsely accused at your previous school, and that the faculty were more interested in handling the matter quickly than in justice being done." Kotegawa looked surprised, "You...heard that?" The boy looked at the sky, "Well...gossips like to assume the worst about others, but anyone who even gave even half thought to those rumors thought it sounded trumped-up." "Really" she answered, and turned her face away and down so that her thick mane covered her face. He heard a few sniffles, so Rito sniffed the air loudly a few times and observed aloud, "Spring is heavy in the air this year, and not in a good way. The pollen sure is unbelievable. Would you like to borrow my handkerchief? My sister just washed it Sunday, and I don't really use it, anyway." "If it's fine with you." Yui murmered. The boy took the carefully wrapped out of his shirt pocket and offered it to her. The girl managed to take it without looking in his direction. Yuuki prayed: -with just a little luck, we'll make it to her house without even one more word coming out of her mouth-

The prayer seemed to come through, and she remained quiet all the way to the Kotegawa residence. Then she demanded, "How did you know where I live? Have you been investigating me?" The girl was thinking -just admit it already and confess-. The boy was thinking -Aw, nuts. I prayed for too little again-. He responded, "Erm, no, I just figured you'd return home after leaving the dorms." Kotegawa reiterated, "How. Did. You. Know. Where. I. Live?" Yuuki was confused; "Huh? Have you forgotten?" he answered, "I used to climb up that tree all the time with your brother when we were younger." She blinked in surprise and did not respond. -I guess she did forget. She must've thought I was hitting on her or something. I'm glad that's all cleared up now- Rito thought, -maybe now would be a good time to say "sayonara"-.

Before he could react, though, a voice delayed his retreat, "Looking good there, Yui! Mom and I were worried that you'd never bring home a guy." -I see that Yuu still enjoys getting on his younger sister's nerves- Yui recovered instantly at this familiar teasing and responded, "How shameless! As if I would ever do that with a guy!" "Oh?" her brother answered while waggling his eyebrows, "In that case did you buy yourself a new hanky? I didn't think you were interested in men's styles, little sister." She promptly hid Rito's handkerchief behind her back and retorted, "I couldn't help it! Mine was used and they were out of stock at the store!" "Urm...you can keep that for now if you want" Yuuki murmured to her. "Thanks" she murmured back. "Uh huh. Sure." Yuu looked at them knowingly, "Even so, you still look like long-time lovers with that secret communication you did just now." "What!?" his younger sister turned an instant beet-red at this outrageous statement, but the older brother wasn't finished, "Ho there, Rito-kun! I'm glad to see that Operation Make-Up was a success. Mother's got the marriage documents ready, so why don't you come on in? Mother's been looking forward to having grandkids for a while now." Yui's face wasn't the only one that was beet-red now, and these faces now faced eachother as she turned to look accusitorially at him and said, "You...You...You...You...You...!", to which he responded: "Nonononononononono!Yourbrother'sjustbeingyourbrot her never..." -Aw nuts, I'm too late. She's going to blow-

In the next moment, Yuuki was reminded of why he and Yuu had spent so much time on that tree. When Yui erupted, she quivered in rage; only, her body and eyes were deadly still, but her splendid mane of velvet-black hair did her quivering for her. Yuuki, sitting on a tree branch a dozen feet above the ground, pondered this aloud: "I've been wondering this for a while now, but is her hair alive?" Yuu, sitting on a nearby branch, answered, "I dunno. I don't want to be any closer than necessary when she's like this. Looks like I hit a nerve. Rito-kun, buddy, I have grave news: my sister's quite taken with you." He answered, "Yuu-san, I think you've already carried your joke too far as is. That wasn't funny, and I'm being delayed." "Now don't be like that, bro, you're the only chance my sister has of not becoming an old maid. As her older brother, it's my duty to look after her." "Uh huh, sure. What did I just tell you about carrying a joke too far?" "I'm serious. Now go fulfill your duties as her future boyfriend and calm her down." "How self-serving of you." "C'mon Yuuki-kun, I'll only rile her up even more if I go down now." He sighed at this and agreed, saying: "Okay, fine." "Really? You're a lifesaver." "I have one slight modification to make to your plan, though." Saying this, the would-be sacrificial goat rose up and gave Yuu a kick, knocking him off his perch. Fortunately for him, several branches and a rose-bush cushioned his fall. Unfortunately for him his sister added insult to injury by burning his ears off without using a single curse word. Then to add even more insult and injury, the siblings' mom came out and lightly scolded her son for ruining her roses while yanking out the thorns with what must be (in Yuu's opinion) an industrial sized wrench. Rito escaped in the confusion, before Kotegawa Okusan realized he was there and tried to invite him to dinner.

**Part 11**

-What shoe is about to drop now?- the boy wondered, but the next hour was calm. He stopped by the house to set out some food for the cats: a calico that had more-or-less taken permanent residence, and a black cat that often stopped by. The family didn't bother to name them since the cats wouldn't answer to them anyway. Mikan didn't want him anywhere near her. "You stink," she told her brother matter of factly, "don't hug me until after you've bathed." "How cold." he answered good-humoredly, "Are you going through a phase? You've protested twice in less than an hour." She answered "No, you just stink, and I hate when Miho and Eri act like idiots, even if they think it's funny." Sairenji Akiho, Haruna's older sister, was a bit distracted when she came to the door so she didn't try to talk his ear off as he prepped Maron for a walk, though she was amused when she learned that her sister had used her as an excuse to avoid a dinner invite. "That girl has gotten worse about not wanting to impose on anyone." On the way back to school he kept Maron on a leash. He wasn't especially hyper, but he kept wanting to give chase and forgot about oncoming traffic. Upon returning to the school he let Maron go so that all the dogs could freely sniff eachother's rears, while Yuuki took this rare opportunity to do some schoolwork outside of school time. His sister constantly scolded him about it but he figured that working 30 hours a week without pay was ridiculous as it was. So the hour ended with the young man idly noting the time and lazily rising to his feet. -if Haruna is too busy to wrap up her shift now, then Mikado-Sensei will welcome my help and not shoo me away again-

Again, no shoe dropped when he walked with Haruna and the tired dogs back to her sister's place, but managed to continue their conversation. "...So when I brought up what you said she did, she said, 'That's not flirting, that's more a reflex.' I admire Mikado-Sensei for her work, but she's not the person I expected her to be. I must have sounded silly going on and on about her earlier." "You weren't going on and on" he told her cheerfully(relieved that Mikado hadn't named names), "You were excited about work and about your employer, and that's a good thing that not every one has. And now that you know Mikado-san a little better, you can develop a real, working relationship. At least, I don't consider idolization a real relationship." "You're sounding more like a grown-up now" she responded softly. "Thanks...I think" Rito joked. "It was a compliment" Haruna spoke more firmly, "You've changed from the boy who squirted milk from his ears when I was too shy to speak to anyone." "Not so much." he laughed at this memory, "I was desperate back then to make friends after a few years of keeping to myself, and I figured that if being outrageous worked for Risa-san, I might try it. Now I find that I'm desperate again to become close to you. After a month back together you still seem rather hesitant." A shop owner Yuuki knew spotted him and gave him the V sign, which he returned. The vendor also wished him luck and told him to "go for it", which Yuuki did not return.

The girl's turned rosy at the boy's admission(or the vendor's unsolicited advice), and looked down. "Twould be shameful to impose on you further after you went so far during...the haunting." Rito responded, "If we are talking about debts owed, won't you just be more in my debt by being cold to this old friend? If I seem to be running up ahead, it's not because I want to leave anyone behind. I'm just doing what boys naturally do when we want to see what's ahead. The tortoise beat the hare in that one story. Sooner or later I'll tire or become vexed, and then I'll be needing help, especially from you. No offense to the others, but the Terrible Two and the Three Stooges aren't reliable at...well...a lot of things." Haruna didn't respond to this immediately, so he joked: "Complete silence, eh? I must really be in trouble now." "Oh no," she responded, "I was just thinking of that time in 8th grade when you ran like a hare and won the inter-class competition for us." "I suppose a hare has its uses, at times; which is good for me since I don't want to be useless in life." "You won't be. I'm sure of it." Haruna asserted. "Is that woman's intuition?" he asked. "Maybe" she answered. "That's good to know. My father is following his dreams now, but I wonder about him sometimes."

They rounded the final corner and started up the stairs. Rito remembered something: "Oh, I should warn you that Akiho-san is going to tease you about turning down my invitation. Sorry, but it came up after I said, 'have fun eating cake!'." Thus saying he managed to catch another cute expression of hers as she said, "Oh, poo." He accompanied her and Marron to the door(he told Samurai to sit and tied Stinker up to the railing), where she said, "See you soon." "Don't you mean 'see you tomorrow'?" "Ahm...sure." "The invitation is still open if you want." "No, Sister will only tease me more if I do that. Maybe next time." After opening the door, Yuuki distracted Akiho with 15 minutes of conversation while Haruna had a chance to retreat to her room. The topic quickly turned to the difference between Camel Brown and Dune Tan (or was it Camel Tan and Dune Brown?), which seemed to be about two different make-up colors, though for all Rito knew she was talking about facial cream and purse colors all at once. Thankfully a neighbor approaced a quarter of an hour later and Stinker started barking up a storm, giving the unfortunate boy a perfect excuse to run away with his tail between his legs(figuratively speaking, of course). Akiho then proceeded to her sister's room, only to find the door closed and the music turned up. Not a problem, since the elder sister could easily make herself heard over these barriers.

He finally arrived home, looking forward to dinner and family time. Also a hug, but Mikan persisted: "Bath First." The cats weren't quite so finicky. The calico gave him the customary sniff-over and then allowed him the honor of petting her a few minutes before stalking off to resume her all-important job of sleeping. At this point the Black Cat finished her sushi and was ready to settle down on Rito's lap. He asked about his sister's day while petting the biological lap warmer. "Fine. I only had to correct the teacher twice. What about you? You gave quite the sigh coming in. Was it a bad a day?" "Amazingly, no. With all the near-disasters and busy-ness today I once would have called this a bad day, but since the disasters were averted and I am now closer to my friends, one in particular, I have to admit that today was a great day." "Oh? Which friend?" "I'll tell you more about it over supper. The cat just jumped off, so I'll go take that bath you've been so insistent on for some reason." "Someone has to remind you that you weren't born in a barn." Mikan retorted.

The bathwater was finally at the right temperature, and Rito slipped in, having already rinsed off, and let the thoughts and stress of the day wash away. -The One I wanted to be closer to is opening up. The One I didn't plan on seeing ever again is speaking to me, but she doesn't want to kill me, so that's cool. I kept those two primary trouble-makers, Risa and the Principal, mostly out of trouble(minus one hole in the roof, but that worked out in the end). The ghost is waiting patiently, and Mikado-Sensei's work is flourishing. Yes...today is a good day-

Then the bathtub exploded.


	2. Chapter 2, A Stormy Night

**Chapter 2: A Stormy Night(with not a cloud in the sky), Part 1**

At first Yuuki Rito saw flashes of light in the water and wondered briefly if one of his paranoid customers had used a hypno-ray on him again, before remembering that none of them had a chance to do so(thanks to Momioka Risa's intervention of utter chaos). Then the water started to bubble and his senses sharpened to the alert as the boy shifted out of his mind-numbing bathtub ritual. -_What's going on? I have to be ready for anything_- Finally, the water in the tub exploded all over the bath area and a beautiful, wet, and naked devil-girl with long pink hair appeared right in front of him in the nude so that her black, spade-tipped tail coming out of her tail-bone was fully visible until she turned around and the rest of her was fully bared...er...visible, and now the curious expression on her face was mostly exposed(as well as the rest of her ventral side) behind her wet hair which she soon brushed back behind her with her hand, probably to see him more clearly, for certainly he could see her face(and the rest of her ventral side) more clearly as it was now in full view without any of her amazingly pink and long hair obstructing the line of sight to the girl's upper torso or navel... In short order, a pink haired girl with a devil-tail appeared suddenly in his bath-tub nudist-style without the least hint of concern for it showing on her face, and Rito's poor head temporarily went into spin cycle since nothing like this had ever happened to him before in his life, because being ready for anything is impossible.

Yuuki eventually settled into type 3 panic mode(a.k.a. freeze; types 1 and 2 being fight and flight, respectively) for a time. The time subjectively lasted an eternity, but was likely only a second or two according to a clock(which is the most inaccurate method of measuring time in the universe). In this time the girl did not cease her inquisitive, friendly expression, and the boy was beginning to think rationally again: -_Okay, she's not taking advantage of surprise and doesn't look hungry, so maybe she's not here to eat me_- Perhaps semi-rationally would be more accurate. Or perhaps not: Galactic Mating Services has been known to make some bizarre delivery mistakes before.

The boy's eyes glued themselves to her face, the safest part for him to look, and he managed to start operating his mouth again...more or less "He...Hello. I'm Yuuki Rito. Nice to see you. I mean that as a greeting not literally...though don't take that the wrong way it is nice to see you...but I don't mean anything by that...but I do mean...but I don't...What am I saying? I'll just shut up now." -_At least I'm not hyper-speaking again_- He proferred his hand out in greeting, only to have it instantly recoil as it made contact with her flesh. -_Idiot. She' standing too close for that_- She likewise poked him in the chest and spoke, "Hallo. Sorry I not speak good. My (translator) is not arrive." She smiled in apology.

The boy mentally kicked himself and switched to Perseus Standard to greet her(Thankfully without committing a gaffe this time), and she immediately looked relieved (her smile could be very versatile), "Oh good. I had thought most of the barbarians of this planet didn't speak any civilized tongue. Oh, wait, since I'm here, I suppose I'm the barbarian, aren't I?(-_obviously I won't need to worry too much about etiquette around this girl_-) Oopsie. Sorry for barging in like this, but I had to use this emergency teleporter," she pointed to a bracelet on her right wrist(Rito only dared a quick glance at it), "I call it pyon-pyon warp-kun. I activited it while I was in the bath, and my ship must've been directly overhead your house when I activated... by the way, who's that coming?"

Too late did his mind register the pit-pat of his little sister's feet scurrying toward the bathroom door, and he yelled out (in Japanese), "Everything's fine, situation normal!" "What happened?" Mikan asked, alarm and suspicion in her voice. "Just a slight slipping and falling in the tub. Everything's fine we're all fine now, thank you. How are you?" "We?! I'm coming in." "Ah, negative, negative. We've got a tub leak here, give me a few moments to clean up. Large leak, very dangerous, that is you might slip and fall." "Who are you, and what did you do to my brother?" She opened the door, took one second to survey the situation, mumbled, "Excuse the interruption", and closed the door. -_my relaxing evening was just now flushed down the toilet, wasn't it_?-

Without looking again in the direction of the alien girl (now that his eyes were pried free), Yuuki stepped out onto the now swamped bath mat and grabbed the towel to dry himself, all the while maintaining a conversation(in Perseus Standard again) with the stranger. "That was my younger sister, Mikan, Yuuki Mikan. By the way, I'm Yuuki Rito." "Oh, that's right! We haven't been introduced yet, even though we seem like family already. I'm Lala, Lala of Deviluke. Please take good care of me, but don't worry! I only mean that politely. A friend of mine should arrive in a few minutes, and I'll be ready to leave then." "Erm...I don't think there's a need to rush. I can contact a doctor if one is needed." "Ehhh? Oh! No, thanks, but that won't be necessary. My ship wasn't in an accident, but I had to leave since I'm a fugitive." -_Not Good_-

Then Rito heard the familiar beeping of a number being rung. -_Even Worse_- He switched languages yet again to yell out, "Mikan! Who are you calling?" "I'm calling Dad," she answered, "I'm sure he'll want to know that his son is taking a bath with a cosplay girl." "Yeah, and I'm sure you're right: Dad will want to know ALL the details if you call him." His sister became really quiet for a moment, then responded: "You're right. I'm going to call Mom, instead." "Good Luck With That!" he yelled. -_That should buy me enough time square away this unexpected guest_- He then wrapped his towel around his waist and hauled out a large towel that Mom used, and held it out to Lala, "Here, you can use this to dry yourself." Lala blinked, smiled politely and answered, "Sorry I not speak good. My (translator) is not arrive." -_oops, wrong language_-

"Sorry," Rito apologized, remembering to use Persean this time, "That was my bad." "No problem," the pink-haired alien cheerfully answered, then pointed out the proffered towel, "is this a gift of clothing?" Yuuki paused a moment to think of how to explain this, then said, "We call it a towel. It can serve as temporary clothing afterward, but first it's used to dry oneself after a bath." "Oh, how neat!" the girl (for a girl she was, alien or no) gushed, "I've never seen a device that can act as both dryer and clothes at the same time!" Hesitation gone, she snatched the towel out of his hand, and sniffed it. "Wow! It even smells like my sister's garden. I'm surprised that this hasn't caught on in the rest of the galaxy." Yuuki responded absently, "We're too far off the main trade routes, and pirates are making this region even more inaccessible." "Yes...that is why I came here..." She finally frowned at him, "Why are you looking away? Is there something wrong with your neck? I didn't injure it did I?"

To the young man's great alarm, the brazen maiden draped the towel over her shoulder, and stepped out of the bath tub. Too late, he snapped his eyes back to her face and tried to dissuade her approach by saying, "Ohnonononono. I'mfinejustembarassed. I'mnotusedto... whoopswrong language again!" The bathroom was not large, and Lala quickly closed the distance between them and places her fingers on his neck and started probing, then she gently, but firmly turned his head this way and that. -_curse you, peripheral vision_- Rito inwardly complained, but did not dare close his eyes. Fortunately, adrenalin was filling his blood, preventing his mind from going into a spin cycle again, so he instead instantly went into panic mode type 3 again.

She quickly finished her examination. "Nothing seems to be wrong, but maybe you should call up that doctor you mentioned. If I had my dialer, I could whip up Giant-Hammer-kun right away and fix you up in one shot." -_what a funny name for a medical device_- Outwardly, Yuuki assured her, "I am all right. Really. I was just... being shy. We normally bathe alone at my age." -_now hurry up and get away from me_- Astonishment burst across Lala's face. "Ehhh?! Why? It's much more fun to wash together, same as eating and playing. What a strange planet." Rito decided to give her an obvious hint: "You should quickly dry up. You'll catch a cold if you stand around wet" -_and exposed_- "Oh sure" she finally took a step back, but only a step, and began drying herself, which didn't occupy enough of her attention to keep her mouth from running: "Isn't bathing by yourself lonely? To me it would be nearly as bad as sleeping alone. You don't sleep alone, too, do you? -_Risa's ability to cross comfort-zones is a self-learned habit, but this girl's a natural_-

Rito answered her, "We usually bathe alone and sleep alone at this age until we marry. I don't usually play alone or eat alone, however." "So it's like a rite of passage?" she asked as she started drying her hair, leaving her front exposed again. -_how do I look away without her becoming worried about my neck again?_- Aloud, he replied, "I guess you can call it that. We don't think about it too much. By the way, since you don't have towels, what do you use to dry yourself?" -_wait, that question might not have been the best choice for diverting the topic_- Lala accepted the diversion cheerfully enough: "Oh, I used to use a modified laser cannon set on wide dispersal, but that kept giving me a sun-burn, so I invented nuku-nuku-dryer-kun, and it works great, though I really have to brace myself to keep from being blown through a wall." -_that certainly crossed my comfort zone in an unexpected way_-

"That..."Yuuki searched for a polite answer, "would not be a good idea for this house. It's too fragile. "Oh? Why is that?" He couldn't think of a polite way to answer her directly, so he went for a diversion again: "Was the place you lived that sturdy?" Lala wrinkled her nose before answering, "Well...it's supposed be. You'd think that the inner sanctum would have walls capable withstanding armored troops crashing into it at 300 meters per second, but I guess construction cut some corners. Dad blamed me, of course, even though the guards should have known better than to enter the bathing room when I was drying myself, orders or no orders." -_I'm beginning to understand why this girl's on the lam_-

She bent over to dry her nether regions, and the panicking Rito finally thought of an excuse to turn his eyes away. He remembered that the floor was soaked and started taking more towels out and laying them on the floor. Naturally the girl turned the conversation toward that, "Is this the only scented towel you have? Is it that rare? You didn't have to go so far for my sake, though I do love this towel." -_fine, as long as she's distracted_- He answered her, "It's the towel we keep for mom when she visits. The towel itself is not hard to come by, and the scent comes from flower petals from our garden that I crushed. I suppose it's rare in this region to use stuff from your own garden, in the city most products are bought in stores. Guys don't usually use flower scents, and my sister won't scent her towel because she reserves that for mother, even though mother says she's being silly."

"Speaking of your sister, why did she run off like that? Did she go to call someone?" Lala asked casually. -_oh, of course she'd be worried about that_- "Yes, our parents" Yuuki answered, "since we have an unexpected guest. No one else." "Is that so?" she answered, "They don't have to trouble themselves. I'll be gone shortly." "It's...a little late for that, probably. I didn't get a chance to explain the situation to my sister properly before she ran off, so she almost certainly thinks that I brought a girl home without warning. My parents will stop at nothing to talk to you. I'll clear the misunderstanding as soon as they allow me to get a word in edgewise." Lala laughed at this, "They think we eloped! How funny. We don't have to become married now, do we?" "Nothing like that. I'll just have to answer some awkward questions, that's all. Don't feel obligated to stay." "Oh, no need to be shy. I don't need to leave that quickly." She wrapped the towel around her waist, like Rito's, and announced, "Good! I'm ready to meet the parents." The boy stood up, not able to use the wet floor as an excuse anymore, and met her eyes again, and immediately spotted a problem with his peripheral vision: "Erm, Lala, girls usually wrap the towel around most of their body, starting just under the arms at the highest, which is why the towel's so big." Surprise quickly overtook her face, "Ehh? Really? Ahh... how exactly do you do that?" "What? Erm...being a guy I'm not the best person to ask. Can you figure it out on your own?" "Sorry, but no. I'm afraid I'll ruin your mother's precious towel. You do it."

-_it can't be helped, otherwise she'll come into the living room as is...it can't be helped_- Rito gulped and answered, "Very well, I'll try. Please turn around." "Okey-dokey" Lala agreed and she turned around 360 degrees. -_she's a natural, all right_- "Erm, I meant turn so that your back is toward me." "Oh...sure" she did so. -_thisisnotHarunathisisnotHarunathisisnotHarunathisi snotHaruna_- He chanted to himself as he bent down to unwrap the towel. "Now lift your arms away from your centerline." She didn't bollix those instructions, either. -_thisisnotHarunathisisnotHarunathisisnotHarunathisi snotHarunathisisnotHarunathisis notHarunathisisnotHarunathisisnotHaruna_- As Yuuki tried securing the towel around her chest without fainting, the girl continued to make small talk: "Oh, and I'm glad that you finally called me Lala. I hate when everyone is so formal, especially those close to me. I know we've just met, but you've been so helpful that I can't really consider you a stranger can I? I mean..." The words seemed to help him concentrate, so he answered, "Actually, on this particular island we attach suffixes to names to indicate relationship. Lala-san would be the generic polite way to address you, though using your given name instead of your family name says that we know one another. Lala-sama or Lala-ojou-sama would indicate you're someone of status." "Absolutely not! I told you that I hate that!" "Of course, I'm just listing examples. I suppose Lala-chan or Lala-chi would work for what you have in mind, since it implies a certain amount of closeness and affection. For guys, though, use kun rather than chan. They're technically not equivalents, but...it's complicated. Calling you Lala without a suffix implies that I've the right to call you that. I would be uncomfortable calling you that here unless we become closer friends."

After another few moments that seemed like an eternity, Rito was finally done, and could step back from this dizzying encounter. "Rito! Mom's on the phone, so get your butt over here!" Mikan called at him. -_out of the fireplace, and into the fire_- "All right! I'll be right there!" he called after her. After a moment of quiet Mikan answered, "Rito, I know you're not looking forward to this but that doesn't mean you can blow raspberries at me. This situation is your fault after all." -_huh? raspberries? What on earth...Oh No, not again! Why were the bwapaps the first sentient race to dominate the Persean Arm? Their language sounds like a digested can of beans!-_ "Why are you sighing, Rito-kun?" Lala asked him, trying out her new mastery of local names. The boy answered, "Oh, I'm just mentally preparing myself. Family discussions can be trying." Lala had been friendly this entire time, and now her cheerfulness kicked up a notch as she said, "I know! They're like that all the time in my family, too! But we love them anyway, right?" She then took his hand and proceeded to march boldly out the door. The only reason that Yuuki had time to grab his phone was because the feminine natural disaster took a moment to figure out that the door wasn't voice-activated. He switched the phone's language and started typing furiously: {Don't speak, family doesn't speak Persean, they'll think we're making fun of them if we use it}. He showed the screen to Lala, who took the phone and typed in{Okey-Dokey!}.

The alien girl had already found the living room at this point, so Mikan witnessed this exchange (and the two of them walking in hand-in-hand wearing nothing but towels), could not decide which displeased her the most, and finally decided on, "What were you two conspiring about?" "Nothing", Rito replied, showing her the screen(she couldn't read it, of course, but she could tell it wasn't Japanese), "I was just telling her to speak with me using this. Lala-chan doesn't speak Japanese well, and I'm sure this is going to be loud enough without her jabbering in my ear, wondering what we're saying." "Okay, fine. She's obviously not from around here. Why aren't you dressed?" -_because I was too busy keeping myself from fainting_- He answered aloud, "Lala-chan had some emergency and left her clothing behind. A friend is apparently going to show up shortly." Mikan narrowed her eyes. "What kind of emergency?" "I didn't ask, and given the hints she gave me, I decided that I didn't want to know. Anyway, I wasn't just going to leave her naked in a strange place." His sister continued staring at him suspiciously, so he asked, "Did you want to wait for us to go to my room and attire ourselves?" She sighed, "No, mom's busting at the seams as is. Hurry up and answer her", and she handed him the phone. He handed Lala his cell-phone with a brief update and the message: {Would you let go of my hand? I may need both of them, and it's causing a misunderstanding}. She typed in a message and showed him: {NO. You're my bestest friend now, and I'm fine with everyone misunderstanding me}.

In the meanwhile the boy at the middle of two conversations said, "Hello" into the phone and received back an unexpected reply, "Rito-kun, I'm disappointed in you. You and I are supposed to transcend the mistakes of our parents, not emulate them. Our destiny..." He took the phone away from his ear and glared at his sister. She smiled innocently at him and shrugged. "Why is our older brother on the line? I thought you said mom is on." She answered, "She is. When I contacted Mom, she insisted on calling everyone else, including Taro-sama." "All right, then. If we're having a conference call, let's not do this half-baked", and saying this, the younger brother pressed a button on the phone and placed it back in its slot. -_now I have a hand free to update the alien girl_- "It's a little loud", Mikan complained about their brothers rant, "Won't you turn it down?" Rito answered "Only if you promise not to escape into another room." His sister rolled her eyes and answered, "Fine. Just keep it down. Our neighbors think we're weird enough as is."

Yuuki Maya interrupted her eldest son's demagoguery, "Taro, dear, I love hearing from you again and I will thank you to remember to call more than once a month, but right now I'd like to ask Rito a few questions. NOW." "Of course, mother. Sorry." came the meek reply. Yuuki Saibai took the opportunity to interject, "I just want to ask you one question, Rito, my boy: is she pretty?" "DAD." Mikan reproved her father. "Father", Taro began, "I don't think that..." Saibai interrupted his kids, "Hey, life goes on, you know? Or did you expect your brother to remain immature forever? Oh that's right, cell phones have cameras nowadays, don't they? Hurry and send a picture, Rito. I'd like to take a gander at this girl you've been hiding from us." "Dad" Mikan tried again to talk sense to him, "She's wearing a towel. Remember that I interrupted them bathing?" "All the more reason to snap a picture of her now." "DAD!" "Dearest": Maya uttered this one word of warning. "What is your wish, O most lovely lady" Saibai countered. "Aren't you too old to collect pictures of young ladies?", his wife scolded him. "A man is never too old to appreciate beauty" he answered, "Drawing sketches of young models is how we met, after all. Besides, as a professional fashion designer, aren't you also interested?" "Well...that is so...but..." "It also works out with our duties as parents. You've been looking forward to dressing up Rito's someday girlfriend for the longest time, so you can have an excuse to rope him into clothes shopping, and I can draw some pictures for him to show off. Awesome plan all around, right?"

Yuuki Rito was finally angry enough to interrupt: "Look, don't go turning Lala-chan into a model for your work..." Actually, the alien girl had no problem with photos being taken of her, but he was not about to mention that at this juncture. "Oh so her name is Lala-chan" Saibai interrupted, "Is that her Cosplay name? Mikan mentioned something about cosplay." "She's still wearing that tail, in fact", Mikan saw fit to mention. Lala started typing furiously: {Tell them what I just wrote}. "Er, Lala's saying that the tail was started 3 months after her mom conceived her, and it was grafted to her body a week after she was born, with numerous updates and checkups afterwards." -_I suppose I should be letting my family know about my job_- His father answered, "That's awesome. I wish more people at cons were that creative when they're role playing." "Er, no, she's serious." "So she's nuts, huh. Lots of those kind of people at cons." "Er..." "How did you two meet? Was it at a sci-fi con, or did that happen later?" "No! We just met today!"Rito protested. He was quickly cut off as Taro managed to speak up again,"And you're already bathing together?! Shame on you little brother. Even Dad never bathed with a girl on the day they met." "Well...technically it was in the shower, so I guess you're technically right." "What?! Dearest, you never told me about that!" "Oh, I didn't? How odd. Do you want me tell you about it now, then?" In answer, the Yuuki family chorused, "NO!" At this juncture, Mikan mouthed these words to Rito: _can I go now?_ He shook his head ruefully at the last. He mouthed back: _not yet. you'll only be called back later_.

At this time a silly-looking dressed-up white doll strolled into the Yuuki parlor and made farting noises. Okay, technically it was speaking Persean, but it left everyone in the Yuuki family passing the blame on whoever was passing gas. "Lady Lala! It's been so long! I missed you so", it was saying after it had leaped into her waiting arms. Lala decided to break her silence to respond(in the same language), "Hiya Peke! It's only been like 20 minutes, but I missed you also." Rito texted furiously:{What is going on?}, but Peke asked her first: "Madam, who is this stupid-looking creature who is so rudely demanding your attention?" -_who are calling stupid-looking, you overdressed onigiri!_- "Peke, this is Rito-kun, my new friend, so be nice. Rito-kun, this Peke, my clothing-droid. This is the friend I said would drop by shortly." Rito decided that using the phone would be pointless now(since the rest of his family was already taking turns saying, "It wasn't me"), and dumbly repeated, "Clothing Droid?" Peke immediately responded, "You see? Stupid-looking. It isn't mean if it's the truth." "Peke." "Oh all right. I will refrain from making obvious observations aloud. Oh, and Lady, you wanted to know how the ship reacted to your escape. In brief: utter chaos. Lord Za..." Lala interrupted it while glancing at him: "Peke, this would go faster if we switch to Devillucan." "My apologies, switching protocols now." She turned to Rito, "I'm sorry, but I'll be catching up with Peke. This should only take a minute." He replied, "No problem, I'll try to settle my family down." They then proceed to have a rapid-fire discussion in a language Rito had never heard before, but it was likely more normal than the other discussion that was going on in the room.

The boy didn't have a chance to speak, however, before his sister recovered from staring at Peke, and said loudly(which immediately caught everyone's attention, as she wasn't that excitable) "What... is THAT?!" "What's the matter dear?" Mom was the first to respond, "Did you see a rat again? I've always said those cats were no good." "No...a white robot just came in and greeted Lala, he's the one who was making that...noise." Dad jumped in, "So she was bringing her own R2D2 to the convention? Awesome." Mikan corrected her father, "No it's too small, and it's not blue enough. It looks like a cloth doll." Dad answered, "Sounds a little girly, but still cool. Rito, my boy, you did well being a gentleman and bringing her home. Maya wasn't nearly so understanding that one time my costume kept falling off. She refused to be within a hundred meters of me." Mom rebutted with, "Dearest, anyone with ANY fashion sense wouldn't want be seen next to a guy wearing only underwear made of duct-tape." "But it was space underwear, and it was rather popular as I recall." "I said people with sense. If you prefer the tasteless hollywood crowd, you're welcome to them." "Awesome, that crowd had a lot of babes as I recall. Beloved, you are the best. Not every woman would welcome their man to hang out with so many babes. Oh, wait, as I recall you became furious that time when that very thing happened, and then you left me for dead. Are you saying you'd be okay if I did that now?" "No, and I didn't leave you for dead. I was calling the paramedics. The phone reception was terrible. If you ever try something like that again, make sure you call the paramedics in advance, unless you like spending extra time in pain while lying on the cold, hard floor."

Mikan was the one who interrupted them again with another exclamation which was followed by many other exclamations: "Lala! What are you doing? Put that towel back on right now!" Taro: "Rito, if you're a gentleman, cover your eyes now!" Saibai: "Rito, if you're a man, start taking picures!" Maya: "Rito, if you want to date an exhibitionist, I have to warn you that's it's very stressful." Rito, confused by all the family yammering at once, turned to see what Lala was doing to cause such a commotion. He saw an amazing sight: Peke suddenly expanded, raveled itself, and wound itself around Lala's body, becoming a rather conservatively-cut(by any standards), if tight, outfit of mostly white. The robot's head had expanded to become a cap. The boy was so surprised that he only realized a moment later that he had seen their alien visitor naked yet once again. -_I'm going to have serious problems going to sleep tonight_- His sister again provided a situational report to the family with a dumbfounded expression: "The cloth robot turned into clothes, and she's wearing it." Dad was once again going to express how cool this was, but his wife cut him off, "Rito, I'm coming over this weekend. Have your girlfriend bring that robot and show me how it works." This was not a suggestion. The unfortunate son protested: "But she's not my girlfriend! We just met, and she'll likely be leaving shortly anyway." -_not to mention that she's a fugitive, but Mom's not going to care about that_- "Then ask her out already. You're a man, aren't you? Tell her you've fallen for her and can't live without her. Propose to her. Beg her for at least one date this weekend. Do whatever it takes." Taro responded to this shocking statement first, "Um, Mom, isn't that what you told us **not** to do when we started dating?" Rito added, "And just now didn't you just say I shouldn't date an exhibitionist?" "Never mind what I said, this is what I'm saying now. Despite what I said I expect both of you to break my heart and marry Miss Wrong anyway, so you might as well help the family business while you're at it." Dad finally managed to get a word in: "Speaking of helping the family business, make sure you send those pictures. I've told you before that an artist is always on the lookout for a new source of inspiration, and there can be nothing more inspirational(other than my wife, of course) than my children growing up."

**Part 2  
**

Rito was stuck between trying to figure out how to tell his mom that she was being unreasonable, and how to tell his dad that he had been too busy listening to them yak to take pictures, when the dogs starting barking up a fury. He instantly became serious as fear appeared on Mikan's face and he stated, "We have more uninvited guests. Later." and he quickly terminated the call. Rito made eye-contact with his sister and then eyed the back door. She nodded and quickly hid in a corner near that door. He grabbed a cat-nip cookie, causing the calico cat to take a break from its full-time job of napping to stare at his hand, tail flicking. The black cat, unsurprisingly, was missing.

Lala was still talking to her clothes when a large crashing sound announced the intrusion of two large men(and also announced the need to buy new doors) into the house, who quickly took positions on either side of the girl, who immediately took a defensive stance. Rito noted that both of them sported tails. She didn't stop talking to her clothes, but the normally bright face darkened with fury, and she switched to Persean. "Peke, didn't I tell you to not allow yourself to be followed?" "My apologies, my lady. They seemed distracted so I took that as an opportunity to escape." "Didn't you use an evasion pattern?" "My apologies, my lady, but I was in a hurry to see you again." "Do you realize what you've done! You ruined my Great Escape Plan!" Now I have to go back to Daddy too soon!" "My apologies, my lady, I will not repeat the same mistake." "That's because there won't be another chance! Pyon-pyon warp-kun won't recharge for a day!" The men in the business suits took advantage of her conversation to close in. She fought, but couldn't escape. The men didn't seem too keen on tackling her, but merely kept her contained. One of them stepped into a drawer, smashing it into kindling and scattering miscellanii across the floor. -_I have to keep them from destroying the house; they'll leave when the girl escapes_- Again he made eye-contact with his sister and glanced at the now broken back door. She nodded and slipped around to glance outside. Mikan then made contact with him and shook her head. Her brother nodded in acknowledgement. -_good_, _no reinforcements out back_- His sister slipped outside, meaning he needed to act now.

Rito waved the cat treat around a few times, causing the calico to tense up, ready to pounce, and he threw it at the head of one of the intruders. The cat jumped on his head, only then realizing it wasn't the most stable perch so she jumped on the next guy's head(for she instinctively preferred high places), only to jump to the previous guy's head when he made a grab for her. Had they simply left her alone, she would have gladly jumped to the ground and left in a snit, but they didn't realize this and kept her hopping from one head to another. Lala stared at her would-be captors in disbelief, so she didn't make her escape. Then Mikan let the dogs out, and the living room erupted into a a furball. Stinker charged straight in, bit them, howled at them, ran around in circles, and sometimes did all four at once, because she couldn't make up her mind what she wanted to do. Samurai took advantage of the confusion her kohai wrought on everyone(including herself) and struck at the back of the guys' legs unawares. One of the intruders backed away from her only to slip on the miscellanii that he had earlier scattered across the floor and joined them on the ground.

Rito took this moment to take Lala by the hand, grab the dumb(but occasionally useful) cat, and ran out the door, whistling for the dogs to follow. He took her behind a bush next to the house, and hid there, letting the cat go to find her own place to hide and sulk. To the dogs rushing out of the house he gave the command: "squirrel", and they proceeded to charge across the street into the neighbor's yard, barking up their large tree. In but a moment the large men in black charged out the back door and followed the dogs. Rito opened a flap in the side of the house and crawled in after telling his fellow fugitive, "Come if you will." She followed him into the basement.

Mikan was waiting for him, "What about..."she started, but her brother interrupted: "I gave them the slip for now. Have you called Dad back?" She nodded, "He was already on his way with his co-workers. He's already called the cops." Rito smiled wryly, "So he's 5 minutes away, and the cops 20 minutes away. "Sounds about right", she smiled back. "I'm going to escape with Lala to draw them off. You stay here. Samurai will return shortly to keep you company." She looked at him stubbornly, "What are you thinking, Baka-Brother? Are you abandoning your sister to play white knight to this strange girl?" He shook his head. "Those guys were holding back, but they were strong. I don't want Dad or his coworkers hurt. I believe they will hold back as long as Lala is with me, and give me time to come up with another plan. If I give them slip, I'll get her to the nearest train. If they capture us, they'll likely lose interest in me. I've already spent too much time here, so see ya soon." Mikan did not look happy, but said nothing.

He turned to Lala and told her, "Come with me and I'll help you escape." She went with him, but asked, "Why are you helping me?" Rito answered "I don't want this house destroyed. Anyway weren't you the one who called me your 'bestest friend'?" "Well, yes, but I didn't expect you to go so far, since we only just met. Even my own family wouldn't go out of their way to help me run away." -_that's usually a good thing_- Aloud, he answered, "While they had cause, they attacked our house without warning; the Yuuki family isn't one to let that slide completely. Anyway, it's not cool to abandon someone in need simply because it's convenient." The puzzled expression remained on her face, but did not ask any further.

They hastened up the stairs past another inobvious door into the main house, and up the stairs into Rito's room. After quickly slipping into a jersey, he opened a window and they climbed onto the roof. He thought of the next step, realized something and winced. He said in a small voice "I should have asked this earlier, but can you jump to the next roof easily?" She smiled and gave him the V sign, also answering in a soft voice, "Of course. I may not look it but I'm pretty strong." She almost beat him to the next rooftop, and easily kept pace with him afterwards, and she was able to do this while keeping up a one-sided conversation, too. "Wow! I've forgotten how much fun a little light skipping is. I've gotten too used to my anti-gravity wings. Technology is nice, but it can sure make me absent-minded about everything." -_what is this girl made of?_-

The boy stopped and looked back only when they had reached the end of the row. Lala stopped with him. His heart nearly stopped when he spotted the two men-in-black talking to a girl walking her dog. -_isn't that Haruna? What's she doing here...No wait, it's dark, and the way you've been lately everyone looks like Haruna. Anyway it doesn't change the fact that I need to draw them after us, but maybe I should put more distance between us first. I should ask Lala if she can contact..._- Then Rito realized that the girl on the ground was staring at them and that one of the men looked to see what she was gaping at. "Oops, they spotted us, time to move." Figuring the alien girl could keep up he jumped down to a balcony, to the top of the fence, and then to the sidewalk below that. The neighbors hated when he did that as a kid. Sure enough, the fellow fugitive kept up, and looked like she was having fun doing so.

They had just reached the next block and were about to round the corner when a delivery truck slammed to the ground right in front of them. -_you have got to be kidding me!_- Not desiring to stick around to see what had thrown that, Yuuki wasted no time scrambling over the top of the two and a half meter vehicle to the other side. Normally he would have trouble doing that, but now was hardly a good time to be normal. Landing on the other side, he caught Lala's hand again and had her crawl under the carriage with him. -_Let's see if this trick works twice_- It did. The two supermen landed on the other side of the truck with a giant **whump**, turned in the direction that Rito had been going to flee(before a certain violent public display of affection between machine and asphalt changed his mind), and, after a few moments of tensing their leg muscles, made a giant leap of near Armstrongian proportions. When he heard another **whump**, Rito led Lala out of that hiding place, ran a few blocks, and comfortably climbed up onto the next hiding place four meters up(though how such large tree escaped zoning laws he had no clue). From this vantage point Rito could see what could be mistaken for two giant black locusts hopping around all over town.

"Lala-chan, can you tap into their communications?" He asked her. The cloth-robot answered, "How rude! Do you think you can just ask favors of an imp..." The girl interrupted it "Shut-up Peke. It's no problem, Rito, but could you please just call me Lala? I'm more comfortable with that, and anyway we've been through so much together." -_admittedly the last quarter hour has been insanely eventful_- The boy answered with a sigh, "All right, fine, why not? My comfort zone has been violated four ways neverland, anyway. Lala, will you please find out what they're saying?" "Okey-Dokey!" She answered in Japanese, "And let's switch to your tongue. Peke will automatically translate now, and they're using Universal Translators so they won't understand us if if they overhear us." Before Rito could ask if Peke was more reliable than the Universal Translators, the doll spoke up.

"Right now they're just using a search-pattern and checking off locations", it was saying, "they're no where near us." -_that much I can see with my own eyes, but at least the translation so far sounds right_- Peke continued: "Checking the backlog... they are waiting for reinforcements in order to speed up the search." "Then we'd better go now" Rito interrupted, "before they arrive." It replied, "It appears we are too late." Twinkles of light appeared all over the place, particularly close by. Many more men in black business suits littered the area. The ones further away started leaping around all over the place like the first two, but the ones nearby began to search the immediate area with a fine-tooth comb. "How are they tracking us?" the boy asked in a soft voice. "Checking...the logs don't say. They just mention a signal."

Lala was contemplating the surrounding forces, "Hmmm... If I use that now, then we'll be caught up in it. Oh, signal? Let me see..." She pulled a black, bat-winged wand out of Peke's head/her cap, which expanded upon contact. "Oh, they're tracking a medical beacon," she was saying, " which is rather unsporting of them, but I guess they're desperate. So you're a medical assistant? No wonder pyon-pyon warp-kun targeted your small bathroom." - _no way_- Yuuki blinked in surprised, and then pulled out his cell phone. "Do...you mean this?" "Yup, that's it. Do you have its muffler on you? It should dampen the signal." "Er... Mikado-sensei said nothing about that." "Ehhh? But it's standard...Oh! Your world is seriously out of the loop, isn't it?" "Erm...yes. How do I turn it off." "That's just it, they're designed to keep working no matter what. Even a heavy blaster shot won't stop it. That's why mufflers were invented when pirates kept using them to find stragglers. I could make one using the all-purpose tool here" she hefted the black wand, "but they would pinpoint our location in a flash. Can you think of something? You've been doing well so far." -_that's right, depend on me...it's not like I'm feeling the pressure or anything_-

Yuuki thought a moment, then replied, "I guess I'll toss this, see if they run after the signal, and make run for it, if they do." He cocked his arm back to do just that, when she grabbed his wrist. "Don't" she commanded, "if you toss that you revoke all privileges and immunities as a medical assistant. They might kill you, and I'll need you alive for later." Before Yuuki could ask what she meant by that, Peke beat him to it, interrupting its duty as translator. "Oh, just another escape plan for later" she replied absently, "right now concentrate on getting out of this trap." -_sounds reasonable enough,_ _but what should I do besides pray?_-

He heard him before he saw him: "You punks! What did you break in my house and threaten my kids for?! Prepare to eat the fist of justice you overgrown villains from a B-grade movie!" That was how Yuuki Saibai made his entrance, though "steel bat of justice" might have been more accurate, even if it didn't quite have the same ring. -_trust dad to make the situation more interesting than needed. If only he had stayed behind to guard Mikan_- Rito considered the risk of blowing his cover by warning his father, when Peke gave more updates, "Lord Zastin ordered most of them to continue the search, for one of them to knock out the interloper, and two of them to be on the lookout for more disturbances." "Knock out as in stun, or kill?" Rito pressed. "Stun, of course." it answered, "This is a rescue mission. Starting blood-feuds with locals when the target is not secure is bad operational procedure." "They're disciplined enough to do that?" He pressed again, given whose life was at stake. "Of course; these aren't regular grunts, after all, but..." "Enough chatter, Peke" the mystery girl interrupted, "Rito, that voice sounds familiar. Am I mistaken?" "No, you're not mistaken: that's my Dad coming to save the day like a hero." "Oh. He's not going to blow up the planet, is he?" -_what?_- "Erm...No. He's not that excessive." He decided to just watch for now.

One of the men in black approached Saibai, taking out something which instantly emitted a rod of white light that crackled in the air. -_plasma sword, not good_- The father responded to this by saying, "A lightsaber? Cool! Rito, my boy, you should have called me to let me know that the con people were up to their tricks again! Mother and I were worried sick." Saibai threw the steel bat away, and took out his toy lightsaber. -_does he carry that thing with him everywhere?_ _Wait, this is not the time to be spectating!_- He started punching some buttons into his phone. "Rito", Lala asked, "What on earth is he talking about? Peke says that the translation was perfect but I still don't understand what I'm hearing." The boy answered absently, "Dad thinks this is some prank by some guys he knows." Her eyes went wide at this, "Those must be some outrageous friends he has. Does con stand for convict?" "No, it doesn't stand for convict, but yes, they can be outrageous at times and they often get arrested for minor crimes." Rito finished pressing buttons and Dad's 'lightsaber' suddenly expanded, which he immediately noticed. "Rito! I've told you before that if you want to mess around with my lightsaber that you should make your own!" -_if I did that you'd drag me to your Jedi meetings and have me fight in duels all the time_- Saibai swung it around a few times. "The balance is good, though. Excellent job!"

The guard decided his opponent was a fool at this point and precipitated the attack with a thrust, which Saibai side-stepped easily, bopped him on the head as he passed and leaped out of the way of the way when the alien tried to slash him. "You're a hundred years too early to hit the untouchable master!" he boasted. He thrust at his opponent's eyes while pressing a switch. The alien easily parried, but was blinded when the untouchable master's fancy stun baton brightened suddenly, blinding him and leaving the alien guard wide open to a series of attacks which left him stunned on the pavement. The guard's falling plasma sword left a large crack in the asphalt before automatically switching off. The father looked taken aback by this and yelled, "Rito! I take back what I said earlier. I didn't know these guys were so serious about special effects. So, thanks for the upgrade!" Lala whispered in Rito's ear, "Wow! I didn't know your father was a master swordsman. Peke still can't understand what he's saying though. Is he speaking a different dialect?" "Er...kinda...yeah. That's certainly my Dad." "Aw, you're blushing again. How modest! Zastin says that humility is an excellent virtue for a sword family." -_that's not why I'm blushing!_-

Before the boy figured out how to skooch away from Lala, he noticed a change in the formation around him. The men in black had all but ceased their search activities to glare at the newcomer. Some of them started rushing him, while even the black grasshoppers in the distance started coming in. "Zastin's yelling at them to continue the search, but they're ignoring him. Their pride as elites has been has been wounded and they want revenge", Peke informed them. Rito did some mental math, and then said aloud, "Looks like Dad's given us a chance. Lala, will the guards think it odd if this tree starts moving around without a wind?" "Eh? Don't trees normally move around on their own?" -_I guess that answers my question_- "No, but they don't know that. Let's move up the tree." "Okey-Dokey! This one of the funnest escapes ever, almost as fun as the time I programmed the cleaning droids to give everyone a new makeover." Rito decided not to ask.

They swayed the tree back and forth so they could jump on the roof nearby as they swung near -_good thing that the house doesn't have termites_- and were able to jump from roof to roof again briefly as their pursuers were all intent on the fight below. "Is you're Dad going to beat them all up?" She asked when they were on the ground. The boy shook his head, "No, he's not that dumb. At least, that's not how he fights with that many around him. He'll avoid being surrounded even if it means a running battle. Those guys can move quickly when they jump, but they're clumsy and don't know the turf. Plus, dad doesn't have a beacon on him; he'll evade them easily." It spoke up: "Lady Lala, Zastin has noted our departure and has reminded several of his men what their mission is supposed to be. Many are in pursuit." -_here we go again_-

He led them to a park where they could hide again, wanting to buy a bit of time to discuss strategy. "Lala, I thank you for your concern, but I need to ditch the beacon, or we'll never see the end of them", Rito told her. She smiled confidently, "That's sweet of you to want to risk your life for me, but there's no need. I have just the device." When he asked, she only replied, "You'll see soon enough." -_I have a bad feeling about this_- She pointed her wand at the sky and spoke in Devillucan. A ball of light shot out into the air and then stopped directly overhead, hovering in place. This time the girl took the boy's hand and started running. All the men in black stopped patrolling at once and converged where they had hidden. The orb of light expanded, went out, and sphere of unidentifiable material appeared in its place. It seemed there was a door on the bottom... which now opened, and tentacles came out of its rim. The strange device started giving off a loud hum that quickly turned into the roar of a jet engine, and the bottom started sucking everything that wasn't nailed down: cans, litter, dogs, squirrels, a couple that happened to be making out nearby, a park bench... and every man in black that had (or still was) jumping into that vicinity. The sphere which turned into an octopoid expanded as it sucked more and more into its innards.

The roar grew louder and louder, and Rito felt obliged to hug a tree. He noticed that Lala grew wings out of her back and started flying away. He quickly took out his cell phone, typed in a message, and sent it on general frequency. For several moments nothing happened(other than the ever increasing volumes of the octopoid), then he received a message back: {Peke is embarrassed to admit that Lala can't remember how to turn vacuum-kun off. She is trying to remember now, so please don't break her concentration}. Rito asked for clarification: {Is she likely to remember before something really bad happens?}. The response: {Peke would not bet on it}. As the octopoid became larger and the boy had to hug the tree harder a thought occurred to him, -_seems like a long shot, but it seems that someone up there other than Zastin has been watching over me this night_-. He put his phone away and readied his utility knife, and then threw it at the now monstrous device.

The blade was sucked in, as far as Yuuki could tell, but the octopoid kept growing and kept sucking. -_I hope that Lala remembers how to deactivate her toy before my body gives out_- Then the roar of of the sucking became irregular, and the octopoid suddenly sported a new hole-starting as a diagonal slit which become wider as it began to be pulled inside. The sucking became chugging, and then a whimper. Finally, it died down completely, and the octopoid slowly descended to ground, where it collapsed like a parachute. The boy remembered: -_I have a job to do don't I? At least I'll get to see the looks on their faces_- Rito walked toward the collapsing device.

He received a message: {What are you doing? Weren't you escaping with me?} He responded: {I'm a medical assistant, with the privileges and responsibilities thereof. Besides, with the confusion you caused and your wings, you should escape easily without my help. Contact me later when you want help settling in on this planet. By the way, nice job drawing them in while setting up that trap. Good use of tactics and all that.} Lala disappeared into the skyline, but took the time to respond: {You think so? I just started running when I realized that I couldn't remember how to operate Vacuum-kun. That was a good idea throwing that narrow pointy object of yours. The aerodynamic profile was just perfect!} {To be honest, that was dumb luck on my part as well. I had no idea if that was going going to work} {Ah...you're still cool when your modest. Later!} {Later}.

The first two men in black struggled clear of the wreckage, and Rito showed them his cell-phone/beacon/whatever-it-was-supposed-to-be-c alled, and ordered them to assist in rescue and cleaning up this mess. Unfortunately, they made no move to comply. Fortunately, the look on their faces was absolutely priceless, they seemed to convey -_weren't we chasing you just now, or did I land on my head again?_- He could see more shapes struggling to get free, and the boy knew he had to take command of the situation quickly. -_If I were Kotegawa, what would I do?_- Finding his source of inspiration, Yuuki began the time-honored tradition(for dogs) of dissing huge men who significantly outmassed him: "What's the matter, did you get dirt in your ears? Clean them out and listen! Are you trying to impress the galaxy with your stomping around like little boys who go around making a mess without a care in the world? Is this how elite soldiers tasked with the safety of a lady comports themselves? Now act like men and take responsibility for your actions! Why, your own comrades are stuck inside and you're just lolly-gagging!" Yuuki thought of adding a few big words in to confuse them, but that seemed to be overkill at the moment.

He walked over to the structure near where someone was struggling and started cutting him loose with his pocket-knife. The work was slow without a utility knife(which was missing for some odd reason), but possible since the octopoid seemed to mostly be made of a material like layered cloth. A small hole was enough for the guard within to tear himself free. The first two, not wanting to be outdone by an earthling, started freeing their fellows. The newly freed one followed suit, thinking this was orders, and so on and so forth. When most of the conspicuous clumps were cut or ripped open, Yuuki advised them to cut the cloth parts into smaller segments, shake them, and fold them up into piles so that no one and nothing was unaccounted for. They did so efficiently, since they were all one big happy(but without smiles) family at this point. He told them not to panic over the escaping squirrels(after there were already a few injuries from hasty swings from plasma swords), and to not kill the dogs that bit them(though quite a few of the canines vacated the area via a ballistic course). Even the human couple was found safe and evidently oblivious to what had just happened to them, given that their lips were still stuck to each other. Benches and trash bins were replaced, and vegetation gathered into piles. Rito's utility knife (what was left of it), however, was mostly found warped and imbedded in a tree a hundred meters away. -_could have been worse, but I'm going to miss that knife, though I suspect the Principal won't share that sentiment_-

His doohickey buzzed. -_Did Mikado Sensei catch wind of this? I was hoping to not interrupt her R&R_- But it was Lala again. {I've been looking over the blueprints, and the material that makes Vacuum-kun's bag can be used as a muffler if you double it up. Later!} Rito hoped that later would be longer than ten minutes next time, though he was thankful for the useful tip. He looked around for the nearest pile, as there was so many to choose from.

In the meanwhile, Commander Zastin ordered the Lieutenant to question the earthling. The lieutenant found the earthling nearby, and said, "here he is." The commander issued a few questions. The earthling didn't reply. He repeated the questions more slowly. No reply. He asked his subordinate, "Why is he not responding?" "He appears to be too busy kissing a female right now, Sir. Should I interrupt them?" "Kiss...?! Show me on the monitor." The lieutenant complied and pressed a button on his bracelet. A hologram of Zastin's head materialized into the air. "Lieutenant?" he asked. "Yes, Sir?" the subordinate responded. "Wasn't the earthling we were chasing a little shorter and have reddish hair?" "I assumed he changed appearance in response to the interested female, Sir." The Commander disappeared from the hologram, and a **WHUMP CRASH** could be heard, followed by a "**WWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMEEEEEEE EEEEEE!**" Several voices on the other side were begging him not to smash the navigational computer. One of the men nearby asked the Lieutenant, "Are we in trouble again, Sir?", to which he responded, "Seems so. All part of being in the elite guard, Corporal." "Yes Sir." The male half of the couple finally broke the kiss to complain, "I know you guys are all jealous and stuff, but could you scram? We're making beautiful memories here. And knock it off with the kiddie raspberries, willya? Totally not cool."

**Part 3  
**  
Sairenji Haruna sat under the back porch of the Yuuki Residence with Mikan. The younger girl had spotted her outside and invited her inside(as soon as the two trespassers had gone), but Haruna had hesitated and they compromised by being in their present location. Two of Yuuki-san's coworkers were out front, glaring menacingly at the night, while Saibai himself went out to look for his son. The youngest Yuuki was beginning to appreciate how self-conscious her companion could be.

"As I've said for the umpteenth time, already, it wasn't your fault!" She was telling her for the third time(three equaling umpteen, in this case), "**I** was shocked when my brother simply **told** me he was going to do something so hare-brained. When **you** **saw** him jumping across rooftops without warning, of course you were going to stare after him in shock." Haruna shook her head again, and answered, "But I am often praised for taking after my Dad, in keeping calm even in stressful times. I once was even able to stay still when I encountered a wild bear in the woods, and was told afterwords that this had probably saved my life. Yet I betrayed a friend with a glance who has been there for me in the past...when I should not have come here." "If you're going to engage in pointlessly second-guessing yourself, then what you should have done was come with brother right away to dinner, that way you would have been with us when we hid in the basement, not outside trying to call the cops and meeting those goons instead. However, you should just stop. The stupidity of boys simply cannot be predicted. They're a mystery even to Mom. And in fairness to Baka-Brother, no one could have expected we'd have a break-in, so being stupidly unpredictable may have been a blessing in disguise this time; though I'm still going to scold him when he comes back, or otherwise I wouldn't be a sister." Haruna became quiet at this, but Mikan wasn't sure she was convinced.

A voice was heard out front, and the twitching ears of the girls betrayed that their attention was now focused elsewhere. "Sorry about this officers, but it really wasn't my fault this time", Yuuki Saibai was explaining to the police who had parked their cruiser outside, "None of the boys told me they were holding an event, so when I heard my house being broken into, I naturally called you guys over." "We asked them not to contact you for a year", one of the officers sighed, "Looks like we need to be more specific with them...after they spend a night in jail." Sairenji's heart skipped a beat or two when Yuuki Rito spoke up, "Don't be too hasty, the ones that broke into our home didn't seem like the usual crew, but seemed to be new guys. I didn't stick around to get all the details, but it seems that the one being chased somehow locked onto my phone number and ran into our house, and the rest were following her." "So it's the 'capture the princess game' again" the officer speaking sounded bored, "didn't you just do that a few months back?" However Saibai corrected him: "Oh no, we were supposed to do a slight variation on that: capture the prince, for the sake of the ladies. But the guy we chose was a die-hard bachelor and he cross-dressed to throw us off the trail. It worked too well: no one knew who was supposed to capture who anymore so a hyakki-yakou erupted." "Ummm..." the one officer responded. "I suppose it would be too much to expect that Con goers would only get into trouble in predictable ways", the other officer opined.

Their conversation was wrapped up soon after as the officers needed to patrol the area for "giant grasshoppers" or "government agents on pogo sticks"(depending on who called in). After the engine was started and the patrol cruiser vroomed away, a loud, meaty smack was heard and Saibai declared, "Whoohee, what a night. Rito, my boy, this calls for a celebration." Rito answered, "You go on in and celebrate, Dad. I'll go and clear my head in the garden." "Suit yourself." The girls remained quietly sitting in the back porch as they heard the gate click shut and saw the young man enter the back yard, unsure whether to yell out a greeting or quietly leave. When Rito collapsed onto the ground their indecision evaporated and they rushed to his side, yelling, "Brother, are you all right! Get it together!" on the one side and, "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault, isn't it? I'll leave right away" on the other.

Having no choice but to rally, Rito dragged himself back up on his knees and assured them, "Mikan, I'm alright. The evening just hit me all at once and I needed a moment. Haruna-san, what on earth are you talking about? I was about to shout or something to draw those two goons after me when you saved me the trouble. It's alright. I also have been surprised by my reactions these past months. You've seen some of it: I panic and stutter or run or something. I suppose it's adolescence or something." "No" his sister corrected him, "You've always been like this. Adolescence has just made it worse." "Gee, thanks, sister." "Don't mention it." "I won't." He allowed them to help raise him to his feet. "Are you sure you're all right?" Mikan asked the usual inane question. "Should be", he answered, "Dad and I checked eachother for injuries, but didn't find anything more serious than a few scrapes and bruises." "Well, we might as well clean them up then" the younger girl said, "there's no sense in risking infection." "Oh, but that's..." Rito protested, but his sister silenced him with her eyes and glanced in Haruna's direction, who hadn't stopped looking very concerned. "Oh, fine, if it'll make you feel better" he conceded. "It will" Mikan said firmly, "Sairenji, you just started volunteering as a nurse, why don't you help?" "Certainly!" she answered quickly, "I mean...if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

They went inside, past Saibai(who was laughing and bragging to his co-workers) and into the bathroom where this whole disaster started. Sairenji was set to wiping Rito with a cloth, while Mikan scrounged for the medical kit. -_this is somewhat less awkward than talking to a naked stranger in my bathtub_- "I was too hasty in cleaning the floor" he said aloud, just to be saying something. "Did she interrupt your bath?" his nurse prodded. "Yes...by coming right in. She was apparently intent on escaping." "That must have been embarrassing." "I was too busy recovering from shock to be embarrassed...well mostly." Haruna remained quiet for awhile and continued dabbing his scrapes. "Rito-kun?" "Yes, Haruna-chan?" "If you don't mind...it's really none of my business though...but if it's not too troublesome I would like...or maybe I shouldn't ask...or maybe I'm just overthinking it...Who was...? I mean...that is..."-_huh?_- Aloud, he said, "You can come on in, Mikan, you're not interrupting anything." "

Excuse me then", his sister opened the door carrying a plastic box, "I didn't realize you were that close." She opened the luggage and pulled out some antiseptic spray. "What do you mean?" he answered, "We've known eachother since...Ow! Why are you even using that stuff when the gel works so much better?" "Punishment." his sister declared, "For running away. More importantly, brother, you only hung out with the guys until recently, so something happened in the past. What was it?" Haruna froze for several seconds. Rito shrugged, "Long story short: Risa and I investigated a haunting that took place in Sairenji's old apartment, and Haruna-san became involved." Mikan answered archly, "I'm not going to be finished that soon, so what's the long story not so short?" "None of your beeswax...Ow! Don't get that stuff in my eye!" "I slipped."

"Why don't you let me, then?" Haruna deftly took the antiseptic from the slightly sadistic sister's hands, "It'll be good practice for my job. Sorry about that, I made Yuuki-kun swear to tell no one about it. I often hear what a reliable sister you are, and have seen it a bit myself just now, so I'll tell you a little. It's not a very comfortable subject." She applied spray for about a minute before saying another word. "I...was haunted by a spirit two years ago. First, I saw blood-stained writing on the wall and a ghastly image in a mirror, which disappeared the moment I turned around to call for help. My parents were alarmed, and when the ghost started waking me in the middle of the night, shaking me with ice-cold hands and I was unable to hold back a scream, they took me to see a doctor. Only Rito and Risa believed me and somehow or other talked the ghost into leaving me in peace...while I was too busy shivering from fear and cold. I will never forget this debt. Do not hesitate to call on me" Sairenji finished softly.

Mikan's eyes went wide and sought her brother's eyes -_how should I take this_- so he answered his sister, "I saw...and felt this ghost, and got tossed around by her a bit when I scolded her and she panicked." Haruna picked up: "Oh, yes. It made a mess of my room, too, when I screamed. That was also why my parents took me to a doctor and discussed having me committed." "I don't really know what to say to any of this" Mikan replied, "I'm glad you're all right." Then her eyes changed in an instant from wide to narrow and asked Rito, "Wait, when did you talk to this ghost girl? Did she come out during the day?" -_why does my sister have to be perceptive only when it's inconvenient?_- Aloud, he only said, "Eeeerrrrmmmmm..." His accomplice answered, for him, "I let them, that is" she turned pink, "Risa and Rito, stay the night in my room. We were so worried about the ghost that we weren't really thinking about how that might appear." "So don't tell Dad." Rito told his sister, "Or else...you know." "Don't tell me what?" Saibai asked as he poked his head into the bathroom."

His son answered, "Oh you know, one of those things we don't tell you because we're your kids." "Oh, that" was all he answered, then he told them, "we're about to celebrate. Hideo's gone to buy some snacks. Why don't you hurry up here and join us? You're welcome to stay the night, little lady, if we stay up too late. Not to embarrass you, or anything, but I somehow get the impression that you're no stranger to my family, so you're welcome to it, for what it's worth." Despite his admonition, Sairenji still seemed plenty embarrassed by this, or at least her blush deepened. Rito answered for her: "If it's all the same, I'll walk Haruna-san back to her sister's place. I'm sure she's had enough stress for one evening." "That's why she should stay. There's nothing like a 'Kampai!' with saki that'll make you forget all your worries." "Sounds like all the more reason why we should go. In fact, maybe I should ask Sairenji to let Mikan spend the night at her place."

Haruna spoke up, "Ahm, that may not be such a great idea. In fact, I may need to accept your father's hospitality after all." Rito looked at her quizzically, "Er, why?" then realization hit him, "Wait...your sister, too?! Is everyone celebrating this night?" The girl frantically corrected him, "Oh, no, she doesn't do that at the apartment! Akiho-neesan just bought this cake flavored with wine, and...you know how she is normally? She's even more talkative after eating such sweets, and she'll be on the phone 'til...way past midnight. And she forgets to use a quiet voice, so the neighbors complain. And usually someone ends up calling the police. So...if it's not too much trouble, may I spend the night? I'll help clean up and fix breakfast in the morning."

Saibai laughed, "What a polite one you are. Rito, my boy, you have a real keeper. All right, little lady-Sairenji, wasn't it?- you have permission to marry my son, so feel free to stay in his room tonight." Rito glared at his father. Mikan scolded him, "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Dad. Haruna-san, please don't mind him, he forgets how shy he was when he was your age." "I wasn't shy" Saibai protested mildly. "Mom disagrees. She says you always hid behind your goofy humor to avoid saying anything serious and she had to use a half-nelson on you to get you to admit that you liked her." "That's...not how I remember it." "Whatever." Mikan took Haruna's hand and led her out the door, saying to her, "Don't worry about them, you should be safe in my room. It's been awhile since I've had a pajama party, so this is going to be fun..." -_at least I don't have to endure being sprayed anymore_- However, his father opened his mouth again, "Well now that the girls are gone I'll show you how real men beat the bruises off of them." -_why me?_- "Erm... I wouldn't want to make the girls feel bad given how much they tended me already; and isn't the party going to start soon?" "No worries, my boy... we just won't tell them, and this will only take a few minutes anyway."

Ten minutes later Rito limped up to his sister's room, ignored the **Girls Only** sign that Mikan had just put up, and opened the door a crack to yell, "Snacks have arrived! I've brought a plate if you're ready for it!" To this came the response: "Baka-Brother! Don't open the door! We're wearing pajamas already." He blinked at this, then answered her, "So? Your pajamas cover more of you than your school uniform does." "That doesn't mean we want you to see them. Have some sensitivity towards a girl's feelings!" "Whatever. Are you going to take the plate, or should I leave it on the ground where one of the furries will eat it." Sairenji moved closer to the door and spoke up, "By the way, is Maron doing well? Your sister told me that a pajama party isn't one without pajamas, but I can get dressed quickly if Maron's causing trouble." Rito risked a glance to see his beloved in one of his mom's white and floral pajamas, and answered, "Oh, no trouble. Stinker and Maron are both using Samurai as a bed right now. Stinker's the one I'm worried about right now. If someone opens the door she'll slip in and try to eat every scrap that's not already in someone's stomach. The cat will also swipe any meat and cheese if she notices. Just normal furry problems, so take your ease now."

His sister now spoke, "I'm going to open the door. Cover your eyes and no peeking. Understood?" -_too late_- The brother answered, "I understand. No peeking, just staring allowed." "Baka-Brother." After taking the plate from his hands, Rito commented, "That rose-pattern really suits you. I don't know why'd you be embarrassed to be seen in them." Mikan retorted "I'm wearing the violet one, so quit being clever." She then probably stuck her tongue out, and kicked him in the shin. "Ow! Not that one!" he protested, and started hopping on one foot. She didn't respond for a moment, probably looked him over and asked, "Rito...just what were you yelling about earlier? Did you trip in the tub or something?" He looked at her and scratched his head as he answered, "Er...Dad wanted a turn playing paramedic." "Ouch. Will you be all right?" "Yes, as long as I don't receive any further medical treatment, I'll be fine." Another pause, and then she said, "Baka-Brother?" "Yes, Silly Sister?" "You're peeking." "Oh, really? I haven't noticed." She was considerate and kicked him in the other shin this time.

Haruna spoke up, "If you don't really mind Rito-san being here, then can we finish our homework first?" "Huh? Don't you finish that in the morning?" "Ahm, no. Sorry. I'll be distracted all evening if I don't." "Guess it can't be helped then." So the young man was in heaven for the next hour while they finished homework. He even received a compliment from Sairenji, "I didn't realize you were so good at studying", the glow of which did not diminish even when his sister wryly observed, "Yes he's good...when he actually remembers that he has homework." Then the hour was over and Rito realized only after he shut the door behind him: _I spent the entire time concentrating on homework; I'm such an idiot_. Then he heard a familiar _guhwaack_ sound and proceeded to the living room to clean up and to set Stinker back outside, and not necessarily in that order.

Meanwhile his sister told his girl-of-interest, "You should come here more often. My brother just doesn't spend time with homework like he ought to. I know he thinks he's already found his calling in life, but it worries Mom and I when he receives a mediocre report card. Oh, sorry, I was just thinking aloud. I suppose it would be too much of hassle for you to come over." Sairenji adopted a thoughtful look on her face and replied, "Ahm, no, as class rep I'm supposed to be concerned about the grades of my class-mates anyway, and it's not like we're strangers...and I owe him anyway...so I'd be glad to help out. I suppose it would be troublesome for you if I keep turning down all your invitations to come over." Mikan scratched the back of her head as she smiled and said, "Ah, sorry about that. Mom and Dad have recently decided to focus on their careers, and our older brother Taro decided to save the world by joining the Peace Corp, so it's been just the two of us lately. We've been inviting friends over when we can." "There's no need to apologize. It's wonderful that you have such old-fashioned hospitality." "I don't need to hear 'there's no need to apologize' from you...Apology-Queen-san!" "Eh?! But I..." "No buts...or I'll hit you with this pillow" Mikan brandished one of her pillows. "But" Haruna carelessly replied, and was promptly whomped with a pillow. The pillow-fight and after-fight conversation lasted well into the night.

In the meantime Rito, who wanted to wake up early but was too excited to do so, knocked himself out by spinning around in circles as fast as he dared, chanting: "She'shere!She'shere!She'shere!She'shere!" The events of earlier this evening had completely slipped his mind.

Part 4

Commander Zastin was blowing raspberries at his subordinates. They would have understood Devillucan better, but their commanding officer believed in communications discipline. Also, the soldiers were so used to being cursed in their mother tongue that they no longer registered it. "For the last time, men: What are you supposed to do with Alien Diversity Training?" "Sir! Dump it in the recycler, Sir!" "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" "**SIR! DUMP IT IN THE RECYCLER, SIR!**" "Good! Squad 1! Stand-by for the reconnaissance mission. Squads 2, 3, and 4! Drill yourselves in Urban Assault until your eyes bleed, or until you're called down, whichever comes first!" "SIR! YES, SIR!" "Squad 4b!" "Sir! Present, Sir!" "Why were you late to your debriefing?" "Sir! Princess Lala came in to undock her ship, and we were running through the checklist, Sir!" "WHAT!?" Commander Zastin squawked. Squad 4b repeated, "Sir! Princess Lala came in to undock her ship, and..." "WHY DIDN'T YOU DETAIN HER YOU FOOLS!" "Sir! We figured that the Loroavian had come home to roost, Sir! And as her bodyguards, we are to show her every courtesy, Sir!" "WHATE DID I TELL YOU TO DO WITH THAT ALIEN DIVERSITY TRAINING!" "**SIR! DUMP IT IN THE RECYCLER, SIR!**"

The poor commander muttered to himself, "What I wouldn't give to have my old dumb grunts back. Educating them seemed like a good idea at the time. No one ever warned us that a little education is a dangerous thing." He stopped his self-pity party to call the bridge, "Did Princess Lala just leave in her ship?" "Confirmed", an old Memorzian answered, "I was just about to call you. It would seem that she teleported in using her ID code, picked up a few items from her room and walked into the bay as if nothing was wrong." "Why wasn't I informed of this?" "I'm still checking...Of course. The boy stationed at the comm abandoned his post." "Who?!", the commander demanded. "The obvious choice." the old Captain replied. "But he wouldn't help her escape...he isn't that irresponsible." "Depends on what you mean by escape, Commander. It appears that our princess has not left this system." "But that would mean..." "Yes, she returned to the planet below." "What could she be plotting this time?" "Unknown. Experience suggests something unpredictable and troublesome." Zastin sighed, and answered, "I wouldn't bet against that. I guess there's no point in asking where our runaway comm officer ran off to?" "Correct, sir. He also fled to the earth."

He turned back to his command. "Change of plans. All of you will train on this planet's southernmost continent until further notice." "Sir, isn't that a little chilly, Sir!" "Do I hear complaining, Lieutenant?" "SIR! NO, SIR!" "Good. Proceed." As the men filed out, Zastin notified the bridge one last time, "I'll be going to ground to have a looksee. Keep me informed if our princess slips up at all and turns up on the scanners." "Naturally, Commander." "Over and Out."

Zastin was soon walking in the town where the pursuit had taken place only an hour earlier, confident in his full body armor. Spying a creature he walked up to it and asked if it knew a red-haired boy(since black hair was predominant in this part of the planet, and the commander figured the red hair would be easy to track down). However, the creature was quite rude, since it only uttered an unintelligent, "Bow-wow" and peed on his leg. It's quickness matched it's rudeness, and evaded the master warrior's kick quite deftly. As he was growing vexed with this, a local vehicle pulled up and two men in matching outfits climbed out and started speaking to them. Zastin, recalling what he'd learned in the hypno-ray, managed to say, "Hello. I'm new here. I'm looking for a boy with red hair." One of them scratched his head and said something weird like, "Saa-lee. No supika engrish." -_the local dialect is different, how unfortunate. Perhaps with just a little patience, we can understand one another_- The other one said something even weirder, "Not another one. Well, at least we don't have to go back to headquarters empty-handed. This one looks like one of their leaders, too." The commander of the Elite Palace guards meekly complied when the two humans motioned him inside the back of the vehicle, apparently not caring that he smelled of dog-pee. He was confident that he could handle anything.

**Part 5**

Peke continued to try to question its master, who seemed preoccupied with reading something. "I'm busy right now, Peke, can't this wait?" she told her creation. "Madam, you just recklessly returned to the ship, risking almost certain capture, and when you amazingly succeeded in obtaining your vehicle, you returned to this planet instead of making good your escape. On top of all that, I find you perusing your Father's Decree about winning your hand in marriage-which you have been avoiding like the granglio flu-with all seriousness. I am at my wit's end. I was made to serve you, but I have no idea what I should be doing when it is clear that you are drastically changing your plans." "Oh" she replied absently, "just the usual: change my outfits, keep me stealthed, talk with me, the usual odds and ends." She said nothing further.

Finally Peke resorted to its most desperate option: "Self-destruct activated. Count-down alive. Disintegration will begin in..." "Abort." Lala commanded tersely, "Don't be so dramatic, silly. I've thought of an acceptable way out of marrying one of those creeps Dad keeps introducing me to. I haven't told you my plan yet simply because I'm still torquing the details into place. It does involve staying on this planet, though, so missing our chance to escape is no problem."

The cloth-bot argued, "But your highness will not be able to summon help here. It's too far off the established trade routes." The pink-haired princess returned to reading but still replied, "Exactly, and neither will they. The odds will be even. Far better than having the entire galaxy against me." "But your personal craft is hardly sufficient to 'even the odds'... you mean the young Memorzian Prince, don't you?" "Hmmm? I guess. His ship and my personal guard will keep my pursuers from cheating too flagrantly." "Your father the king does not approve of him... but I suppose if he wins against all other suitors his majesty won't protest too much." "Yes..." Lala replied absently, "winning against all other suitors will be essential, but I'm going to bet he can pull it off. He's resourceful, has the only local connection of significance, and has the home advantage." -_are we speaking of the same person?_- "My... Lady?" "Oh sorry, did I say something? Could you please wait? I'll get back to you as soon as I can." "As you wish...My Lady." "Fortunately the easy part will be convincing him to cooperate. I'm going to be tired after reading all this legaleze." "Yes, the young prince has always been interested in your hand." -_good, we were speaking of the same person after all_- The princess gave no sign that she had heard.


End file.
